


Two Sides of the Same Coin

by Fhujeth



Series: A History of Lithuania and Poland [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Historical Hetalia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22291693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fhujeth/pseuds/Fhujeth
Summary: After their strained relationship in the 1900s, Poland and Lithuania are set up on a blind date after hardly speaking to one another since the late 1910s. Eventually, as they carry on the night, things happen.The story takes place in two chapters, each chapter giving a different perspective to the events of the evening going on.Do they love each other or is there still some salt in those wounds? What happens when two ex-lovers are tossed on a blind date after being at one another's throats for almost a century?EDIT: I've added the final and bonus chapter to this as well, which is France's POV in the story.
Relationships: Lithuania & Poland (Hetalia), Lithuania/Poland (Hetalia)
Series: A History of Lithuania and Poland [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1492265
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	1. Prologue (Poland's Side)

Poland sat as sweat lightly formed on his forehead, his hands shaking profusely as he struggled to hold a single glass of wine in his hand. He was waiting at the dinner table of one of Paris' most esteemed and famed restaurants dressed accordingly for the early 90s and the setting at hand. The beautiful fixtures and view of the Eiffel Tower were key features for this gorgeous and refined place. He managed to pour himself another glass of red wine as he saw the door to the restaurant open. While he had been reassured that the person he was going to meet wasn't a stranger, he was scared.

Poland felt his heart pulse with strong energy, an internal alarm that told him one of his kind was near. He didn't feel like hooking up with a mortal, he couldn't, but his shoulders relaxed when he realized it was someone like him, someone he probably already knew. "Please, Christ Almighty. Let tonight end in peace." He made a cross over his chest and prayed quietly to God that his blind date would go okay.

A calm brunette hastily, but with an upbeat step entered and asked where he was supposed to meet. He looked confused when he was told where to go, giving a few glances in the direction of Poland. It was clear that the energy he had when he came in had disappeared without a moment's notice, but he walked over towards the dinner table anyways.

Lithuania stood about a meter from Poland. He was in a rather garish beige jacket that was zipped up to his neck and his pants looked like they just crawled out of a 1970s Sears Catalogue. Poland half-smiled when he saw him but jumped in utter surprise when he fully grasped the scope of who it was. Despite the familiar face, they were not friends.

"I shouldn't have agreed to this," Lithuania muttered under his breath in his own tongue, a heavy Russian accent in his words. His green eyes were cold and narrowed as he stood there, glaring down at Poland.

"Tolys..." Poland stared back at the man he once loved and felt sick. It wasn't the usual sick he'd get when he had to deal with a stranger, but a different, stronger feeling, one of guilt. His chest felt tight and his stomach heavy as he tried to search for words. "That bastard." Was all he could utter, furious that France would set him up on such a date.

Lithuania remained silent and just stood next to the table. His fists were clenched and his strong jawline tensed. His eyes shook with hatred, but he sat down anyway and poured himself a glass of wine so quickly Poland worried it might splash everywhere. He then drank it down and poured another. He didn't take his eyes off of Poland.

"This is not cool," Poland grumbled. His breathing short but he was doing his best to pretend there wasn't any problem. He didn't want to cause a scene or draw attention to them. "Why would he do this?"

His words were met with an even more fierce look from the other side of the table. The glare was so strong that Poland himself felt threatened until he realized that it was only Lithuania.

Both nations sat with sealed lips and slow movements while they figured out what they were going to order. Poland had one eye on the menu and another on the somewhat wild-haired man. Coincidentally, Lithuania was doing the same.

"I'm going to flag down the waiter," Poland closed his menu and put it aside. "Are you ready to order?"

Lithuania looked up from the menu and directly into Poland's eyes, and for a moment, Poland felt his heart flutter. The warm, familiar face of the rugged warrior he had spent centuries next to was one of his favourite things to see. His always matted hair, his long and defined handsome face. Even if they had been ripped apart and broken, there was something about his face that always stood out as fascinating. Lithuania once again turned back to the menu without saying a word.

"I'll take that as a yes..." Although they'd been separated for decades, Poland could read Lithuania like a book, as impossible to read as he was. His actions, although always subtle, were ones he had long since familiarized himself with. Although a cold and serious man on the surface, Lithuania actually had a warm and gentle heart. "We need more wine anyways."

Lithuania watched Poland's lips move and set his own menu aside. "Beer," he said as he unzipped his jacket, revealing a rather tacky shirt. He placed the jacket on the back of his chair and proceeded to down the rest of his glass of wine.

"Beer?" Poland asked quietly, intrigue and curiosity in his voice. "...and food?" He found it peculiar that Lithuania had said that out loud, but had quickly come to the conclusion that perhaps the fashion disaster didn't remember how to speak or use French. "What do you want me to order for you?"

"I can order myself. I'm not incompetent." The words were ugly, a stark contrast to Lithuania's handsome face.

Poland sank into his chair a little bit and began to fiddle with some of his jewelry, doubting how much was left of the man he once new. Maybe the old Lithuania was gone and all that was left was this mess in front of him.

"If I knew it was going to be you, I wouldn't have come." Lithuania picked his menu back up as he saw the waiter approaching. His hands shook as he placed his order, using broken French to explain how he wanted his meal. He seemed to get through it without too much difficulty, though.

After the two placed their orders, they sat silently and drank their own alcohol, both going through the motions of having no idea what to do or say to one another. This dance went on for several minutes before they accidentally made eye contact.

"So..." Poland spoke up, his voice weak as he tried to push out something to say against the tension.

Lithuania shot him a glare. "I'm here for the food and beer, not to talk to you." He spoke in Lithuanian and his words were cold and short. "If you can't understand me then that's your problem."

"Um, well, actually--" Poland hammered down the glass of red in his hand and braced himself for confrontation. When he wanted to do something, he'd do it. Even if it hurt him, in the long run, he was ready to dive headfirst into whatever he wanted to do. In this case, try to talk to Lithuania. Although using nothing but text and a sparse amount of records he had around, he had been able to maintain to some degree his own ability to speak his ex's language. "I can understand you, " He stated back in Lithuanian, a thick Polish accent in his words. It was clear he hadn't been able to practice speaking it with anyone until now. "I want to take this unlikely and unfortunate chance to talk... or something."

Lithuania's brow furrowed in frustration and he scoffed. "Don't do that." He chugged his beer and raised his hand to order another one. He had already drunk quite a bit.

"Do what?" Poland replied, continuing to use the other nation's language. He wasn't sure what was up with Lithuania. He had spent as much energy as he could trying to protest and help the newly independent nation, even going so far as to offer a sanctuary for the Lithuanian president in a time of crisis. He'd tried to be there at the other's side and give it his all every step of the way. “I was just replying to you..."

Lithuania's face twitched and he reached over the table, snatching the other's drink and hammering it down. "...and I said I don't. Want. To hear it." He returned the glass from where he had gotten it and leaned back, "Knowing you, you probably bribed France or asked him to set this whole thing up for you so you could get a chance to manipulate me once again. I'm not having that."

"I- What? He did this to me, too." Poland denied the accusation, though he wasn't sure if Lithuania was going to believe him either way. While he did want to have a friendly relationship with Lithuania, he had not set this event up. He didn't even want to get back into a relationship all that much, though he wouldn't turn down the chance with an apparent 'prince'. "Francis told me he had someone in mind and wanted to set me up on a date. I'm totally not interested in long term dating right now but he said the guy was going to be the perfect match for me." Poland poured another glass of his wine as the waiter came by and delivered Lithuania's next beer. "I wasn't going to pass up a chance..." Poland was touch starved. “People say he knows romance.”

With his emerald eyes fixated on Poland, Lithuania began to drink the next beer. "He doesn't know anything." He set down his drink, his hands still shaking. "I only came for the food and trip out here." His words were as bitter as the beer he was drinking. "But I guess I can't trust that, either."

"Well, I trust the food will be good." Poland both tried to find some optimism at the moment and also steer the topic off of trust issues. He didn't want to accidentally rehash the past or open old wounds. "200 Franc a dish, it better be good." Poland faked a smile. "At least he's covering all of this..."

"You mean he said he'll cover all of this."

Poland sighed, his attempt at finding a silver lining proving difficult. He went for a different approach. "You look well..."

"I don't want your false flattery." Lithuania shot Poland a dirty look. "I just want to eat and get out of here."

"Alright, you sound like you're the world’s worst Russian spy trying to be a Lithuanian." He hadn't been lying when he said Lithuania looked well. He had always been a silent admirer to the man's thick brown hair and bright green eyes. Compared to the times they had met during the Warsaw Pact, he did look well. The bags under his eyes had mostly faded and he seemed to have more of a bounce in his step when he had come in.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He demanded, ready to lunge at Poland from the other side of the table. "I sound like everyone....else..." His aggressive tone fell to silence, his eyes shaking with a sudden realization. He went weak and his shoulders slumped down as his gaze fell to the empty tablecloth before him.

Poland had seen Lithuania in every emotion, every state, every mood, or so he thought as he looked at the confused and lost man before him. He felt the other's sadness creep over him, but Poland did his best to keep a somewhat upbeat facade. "It's unique." He forced more optimism into his words.

Lithuania looked back at Poland and only for a moment did Poland believe he had been able to break through to him. However, that hope died fast when he watched the once proud king of Eastern Europe look back at the table.

"Unique suits you," Poland attempted again, trying to motivate the other to celebrate something, to find a light. He wanted to see Lithuania's eyes glow again. He could remember the joy he used to see as Lithuania would roar into battle, a brutal entity to be dealt with. He remembered the pride and satisfaction as the warrior ripped the heads off his foes, holding them up for all to see. He wanted to see the man before him one day show that energy again. It disgusted Poland how he had been able to see through the centuries the transition of this once great and feared nation into the pencil pusher he was today.

No matter the efforts Poland attempted to put into his words, Lithuania remained cold and withdrawn. Even as the waitress brought over their meals, the two continued to stare in silence, hardly picking at their food. “Is it that strong?” Lithuania seemed to have a mixed expression on his face, one Poland couldn’t quite read. “Do I still sound like me?”

Poland wanted to give an honest answer but didn’t want to say the wrong thing either. “No… but it’s not because of your accent.” He took a deep breath, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut instead of saying that, but before he could carry on, Lithuania spoke up again.

“Then what is it?” He clenched his fists, his sweet face twisting into something angry and putrid. “Is it because I’m not- Flocking to your feet about meeting you here?” He picked up the beer again, downing the rest of it. “Even if it “wasn't your intention” you are some damn reason that we are here tonight, together, in this damn place. Then again, it’s always been ‘not your intention’,” Lithuania hissed, standing up and leaning across the table, getting right into Poland’s face. “Taking MY culture, MY religion, forcing me to be YOUR errand boy. Those ‘weren’t your intentions’ either, right?” He growled, “Well I’m not your filthy fucking errand boy. I’m a goddamn independent country with my OWN ideas and I’m not about to let YOU come back into MY life and take that from me.” He slammed his fists so hard against the table he almost broke it.

The room had all eyes on the two foreigners sitting at the table and at this point, Poland wanted to get up and run out of the room like a madman, but he didn’t. “No-- I--”

“Then what. Is. It?” Lithuania's eyes were as menacing as the times he had entered battle against a most hated foe and Poland could feel his heart skip a beat as he watched the warrior he thought was lost begin to claw its self out. “All I wanted to do was come here, take my damn food, maybe have a few beers, enjoy my night. Have a good conversation with someone new. A fresh start. NOT WITH YOU.”

Poland’s breathing intensified and he felt the need to get defensive back. Usually, he was good at keeping a lot of his feelings behind his stone-cold face but tonight, now, was different, and Lithuania wasn’t listening to him. “I didn’t set us up you bastard!” He screamed back in Polish now. The energy to hold back had no chance against his energy to fight. He leaned in towards Lithuania, his forehead touching the other's. “But all I’ve been doing has been trying to get us to enjoy the night! Whether you like it or not we’re tied together so we might as well try to make the best of it!” Tears began to pool in Poland’s eyes as he remembered everything that drove them further apart. “I don’t think I can ever forgive myself and I don’t want you to forgive me but please… Let’s do what we’re good at and make the best out of a terrible situation tonight.” With that, Poland fell back into his chair and tried to wipe tears away from his eyes.

Lithuania stood quietly on the other side of the table. The fearsome face of the lost soldier shifting back into a calm and peaceful demeanor. A tear or two formed in the pits of his eyes but he wiped them away quickly with the back of his hand as he sat down.

A waiter came by to check up on what had just happened and to make sure they were both okay, but since their ruckus had been rather short-lived and Poland had been able to explain what had happened in French, they were excused for their behaviour. They took the chance to refresh their beverages, this time ordering something stronger than just wine or beer.

“It’s been a while since I drank this stuff.” Lithuania picked up the first shot glass of vodka. They had ordered about a dozen. “I get cravings for it all the time but I’ve been trying to hold back.” He seemed calm for the moment while he dumped the liquid into his mouth and swallowed it. “It’s not bad…” He reached for and took a second, putting the finished cup back down.

Poland smirked, picking one up himself and downing it. “I told you this would make all of our feelings better.” He wanted to laugh but he chose to keep a straight face. “I made sure to order their finest Polish Vodka and nothing beats that.” He said chest pumped up with pride as he reached for another. “I mean, you’ve totally been drinking Russian junk for like, decades, so this must be such a nice change.”

Lithuania took another, his tired eyes lighting up a little bit, and he almost cracked a smile. “Nah, Russian is better.” He took the third shot and then took a deep breath.

“Yeah…” Poland replied, ignoring the statement Lithuania made about his vodka. He was confident enough in himself that anything he did was always going to be better than Russia’s. In fact, he was almost certain it was just a snide remark or joke. Instead of protesting the statement, Poland let his eyes drift towards the other’s chest.

He watched in awe for a moment as Lithuania took a deep breath. Despite the tacky and slightly oversize shirt over his body, Poland could see that was clear muscle definition hiding behind it. He stared quietly for just a moment before figuring out something he could say to carry on the conversation. His drunken mind searching for the perfect words to use. “You’re really handsome.” It was not at all what Poland had intended to say. “I-I mean that as a friend, not like--”

Lithuania’s eyes narrowed fiercely at Poland and with a quick movement put his jacket back on over his body. “We’re not friends.”

Poland had been making attempts to be appropriate and kind the entire night and treat it like old times, but times really have changed. “Sorry…” Poland looked away, his stomach churning and his heart racing. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Lithuania took two more shots with ease and leaned forward again, the hate and tension coming back into his eyes. “Don’t ever say anything like that to me again.”

At that moment Poland wanted to get up, run to the bathroom, cry, leave, but he didn’t. He sat firmly. “I’m… I’m…” Lithuania had never seemed to mind being called handsome before. Hell, he was even proud of it at times, flexing his toned arms and bragging about how hard he could punch an opposing soldier. This drastic change over the years pulled at Poland, and he couldn’t help but feel responsible for all of it. “I’m so sorry…” Poland didn’t know what he was apologizing for, but he looked to the side, tears beginning to stream down his face. “I’m so, so, so, so sorry for everything I’ve done.” He clenched his fists against his refined pants and began to sob. He wasn’t even sure what he was sobbing for.

“I’m sure you are… but I’m not some toy to be ogled at.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’m never trusting a word that bastard or anyone else says again,” Lithuania stated, nodding his head in the direction of a neighbouring table. France was there. Although heavily in disguise, he was there. “He probably just wanted a show.”

Poland blinked a few times, surprised he hadn’t even noticed the nation sitting that close to them. Suddenly, it all made sense, or at least, to him it did. “A show…” Poland wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, the bleeding mascara dirtying his hand. “That bastard…”

The mood at their table quickly turned from intense mixed emotions to anger as the two came to their own idea about what the setup of the evening was. “I should have figured he’d have some kind of sick intention like that.” Lithuania glanced down at the plate of food he had ordered and then back towards France.

“He would do this! We’ve always been jokes to these fucking westerners.” Poland’s face tensed up, a scowl forming across his lips. He put his fists against the table. “I’m going to give him a piece of my fucking mind.” With that, he stood up. “No one treats The Crown of the Polish Kingdom this way.”

Lithuania blinked a few times at what he had just heard the fellow nation call himself, but through his drunken haze just stood up too. “What’s our game plan? I doubt he can understand what we’re saying.”

“Game plan?” Poland didn’t want to get arrested or deported, but he did want to scare France a little bit. “We act like we’re about to fucking kill him like it’s 1444!” He slammed his fists against the table and started towards the nearby booth.

Lithuania’s eyes widened when he saw Poland start to take action immediately, but he followed beside him. He thought they’d plan something, but then again, this was Poland he was working with.

“Ah, I see you’ve spotted me.” France put down his large newspaper and took off a hat and a fake mustache. “Ah, it’s so sweet that I was able to unite you both after the reckless hardships you two have been through.” France smiled gently towards the two he had so carefully set up. “I hope you’ve bonded well.”

“Yeah, we have ‘bonded’,” Lithuania muttered sarcastically in broken French, prompting Poland to take the vocal lead here.

“We’ve bonded about kicking your fucking ass for setting us up like this.”

France smiled a bit, drunk on fine wines and cheer at hearing the two had bonded. “I’m happy to hear that you two have gotten along well, ah, it was my goal all along.”

The other two looked at one another and then back to France. “I’m glad we bonded too.” Poland leaned in closer towards France. “...because we’ll be eagerly awaiting you in the parking lot after this. We’ve planned a thank you gift.” He winked before heading back to the table, getting their food to go, and heading out towards the parking lot to wait.

“Ah, reborn love.” France smiled, hands over his heart, “I just love getting people back together.”

///

Poland kicked the ground as the two left the restaurant, untouched meals in hand. "I can't believe that guy," Poland muttered under his breath, still speaking Lithuanian. "Why would he do this to us?"

"I don't know..." Lithuania let out an exasperated sigh. “Why can’t things just be left the way they are?” He ran his fingers through his untamed hair. “I really regret coming out here tonight.”

Lithuania hiccuped, clearly drunk, and it made Poland’s heart flutter softly. It was a cute noise, and he blushed as he continued to listen, walking alongside him. Although they were both far from home, Poland felt comfortable alongside his once long-time companion.

“I’m too old for this shit…” Lithuania yawned. Despite his looks, he’d been around for over a millennia at least, and he looked good for his age. Even though he had suffered greatly through the last few centuries, he had still been able to keep a pretty face. To Poland, it was an impressive feat that the other nation didn’t need to wear makeup.

“I’m just… going to return to the hotel and like, take a bath and pass out.” Poland yawned as he sat down on the curbside, remembering to wait for France. He still wanted to give him a piece of his mind for setting the two up like this. “I mean, after we kick that guy’s ass,” Poland added, laughing playfully to himself. He remembered how hard Lithuania could throw a punch, and he really wanted to see him take the lead again.

Lithuania sat down beside Poland and took his own leftovers from him, looking inside it to see that it was his own. The food must have seemed unappetizing because he took one look at it and tensed up.

Poland wondered if Lithuania had always been this tense and nervous, but he smiled at him despite his worry. “It feels pretty nice out.” Poland put his own leftovers to his side and looked up at the sky. “Sitting out here and waiting for France will be a piece of cake.”

Lithuania said nothing and looked up at the sky himself. He let out a deep breath, and Poland wondered what could possibly be going through Lithuania’s mind. He had seemed so heated and upset in the restaurant, and although Poland understood why, he wondered just why Lithuania hadn’t gone and left already. After all, he was only half joking about kicking France’s ass.

In a way, Poland felt jealous Warsaw wasn’t more like Paris. People didn’t come to Paris for the same reasons they came to Warsaw. Paris was extravagant, and it felt so vastly different from Warsaw. He mused for a moment if he’d be able to make Warsaw more vibrant and colourful and become a place people would want to visit for more than just the sad and tragic history attached to it.

Paris wasn’t perfect, of course, and through careful research Poland had been able to find a nearby place in his budget to stay. He had even decided to make a day or two trip of it, too, before he would be dragged back to his own land to work on boring paperwork. Regardless of the date being set up to meet with Lithuania, Poland was pretty happy he had gotten a free flight and meal at a breathtaking restaurant in Paris.

“Is your hotel far from here?” Poland asked, playing with the bracelet around his wrist. “I mean, mine is kind of close to here, so I’m not too worried about getting home.”

“I didn’t get one,” Lithuania curtly replied. “It’s nice enough out, I think, and it’s not really in my budget to spend a night in a hotel around Paris.”

Poland listened, feeling a bit sorry for Lithuania. He had a room to himself, and there was more than enough space for two people. He didn’t mind the idea of letting Lithuania spend the night, no strings attached. It wouldn’t have been Poland’s dream idea, but company was company, and the good Catholic inside him kept screaming at him to offer something. “What were you going to do?” he asked, wondering if by some chance he had planned to stay with a friend or if he was going to stay with France. “Just sleep on a bench?”

Lithuania turned to Poland. “It’s not like I have money.” His words had a bite and he turned back to the sky. “I’ll probably just sleep outside somewhere… or stay in some all-night bar.” He shrugged, seemingly unfazed by the idea of sleeping outside.

It was true, when they were kids they used to sleep outside together all the time, so this thought didn’t worry Poland too much. Back in their glory days, they would call the rye fields their bed. Nothing felt nicer than a warm summer’s night as they looked up at the stars and told stories and laughed. Poland smiled as he remembered these moments and started to pick at the charms on his bracelet again. “Do you… want to stay the night in--”

“No.”

Poland turned away. He didn’t mind sacrificing some privacy or even the bed so that Lithuania might have somewhere warm to stay.

The beautiful night sky had been slowly growing darker as stars began to disappear behind thick clouds. The sun had now set, but it was still evident that it was getting cloudier and cloudier. “It’s going to rain,” said Poland.

“I know.” Lithuania was still looking up at the sky. “It’s not like I haven’t slept in the pouring rain before.” He gave it a long pause. “...or the frigid snow.”

Poland didn’t want to push Lithuania about spending the night at his hotel. After all, he was a free man, and if Lithuania wanted to be stubborn and stay out in the pouring rain, that was his thing. It wasn’t Poland’s job to parent someone nearly his own age.

Poland stood up and held his leftovers tightly, taking a deep breath. “I’m going to head back to the hotel now.” It had been a while, and France still hadn’t shown up, so there was no point in sticking around, especially if it was going to rain. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

“We’re bound by borders,” Lithuania yawned, giving himself a good stretch. “So yeah, I’ll see you around.”

Poland frowned. He wasn’t worried Lithuania would be in danger, but he felt uncomfortable leaving the guy to sleep in the middle of a country where he didn’t speak the language very well. He began to consider asking again, but a crack of thunder pulled him from his thoughts, causing every muscle in his body to tense up. He clenched the bag holding his leftovers tighter. “I’m going to go then.” His voice shook. He knew it was thunder, he knew it was in the distance. It was a single crack, like a gunshot. “Would hate to get caught in the rain and ruin my shoes,” he lied, a piece of his mind beginning to fragment. He began to walk off, unbalanced and uncomfortable.

Lithuania stood up quickly and began to follow, starting to call out defensively. “Why aren’t you trying--” A loud flash of light followed by a loud roar of thunder came booming down from the sky.

That was all it took, and Poland’s legs went weak, gravity pulling him to the ground. The world around him seemed to collide into a chaotic mess of nothingness and everything all at once. His heart started throbbing and a cold sweat overcame him. Panic began to set in as a sense of danger and immediate threat came down on him.

Poland could see it now, the vivid peace of the night ruined as the world fell apart around him. He couldn’t tell where he was or what was going on, but reached his hands down so he could feel something. The cool rough texture of the concrete on his hands did nothing to help him, but it let him grasp onto the fact that he was still awake. He dug his nails into the ground, but all he could see was the grey cement, the smoke and ash. All he could hear was the ringing of a bomb.

He still wasn’t prepared. It happened again. The bomb, the flames, the incineration. He couldn’t grasp where he was. His breathing grew short and rapid as he stared absently at the cement, his mind trying to rationalize what had just happened and pick up on what it should do.

Poland couldn’t move. He was in danger, and that was all he knew.

“It’s okay!” Someone had spoken out in Polish. “It’s only a storm.”

The words were calm and slow, and Poland tried to focus in on who was saying them. He wondered if it was a soldier, or maybe someone who had come to rescue him. It calmed him to know that he wasn’t there alone, and that someone else was there alongside him. The tension in his shoulders lessened.

“A rain storm, thunder,” the voice continued.

Poland was trembling, but he started to gain a sense of where he was. Tears began to fill his eyes, but as soon as he began to realize what was happening, another flash and bang sent him flying directly into the soldier, clinging to him for dear life.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m right here.” The soldier offered a calming tone, yet remained as still as a rock, not even going so far as to put his arms around Poland.

Poland clung tighter to the mysterious soldier, his face buried in his chest. He could feel the warmth of tears running down his face as he sobbed for a good few minutes, his heartbeat slowing and his grip with reality starting to come again.

“Is there anything I can do?” asked the soldier, and suddenly Poland recognized the voice as Lithuania’s, his mind awakening from its shock. Despite everything, Lithuania’s words were still calm.

Poland shook his head and continued sobbing, even as the rain started to fall. He could smell the familiar scent of Lithuania and hear the cars driving down the road now. The flashback was slowly starting to fade as he could feel the calming aura of Paris and see the bright lights of the great Eiffel Tower from the corner of his eye. “Paris, yeah?” Poland mumbled, his face still thrust into Lithuania’s jacket.

“Yeah, Paris,” Lithuania replied.

Eventually, Poland was able to pull himself away from Lithuania. He sat on the ground for a moment, wiping away the tears with the back of his hand. He felt weak, like a train had just hit him, but he was calmer and more aware. “I’m sorry…”

Guilt began to consume Poland as his mind caught up with reality. He hadn’t meant to put Lithuania in this situation. He hadn’t meant for it to happen at all. He was frustrated knowing it had happened before and would happen again, but he just turned those emotions into actions and stood up. “I’ll go now.”

Poland wanted to hurry out of there and head back to his hotel. He started to feel anxious, but a different kind of anxious. The guilt and frustration became embarrassment and shame, and those were emotions he didn’t want to deal with right then and there. He decided to try and play it off like it was nothing and faked a smile. “Stay safe, okay?” He began to walk off.

“Wait.” Lithuania stood up, his voice was weak and shaky, “Are you still willing to let me stay the night at your hotel room?”

Poland stopped walking and gave a polite nod. “Yeah.” It was the least he could offer.

///

Lithuania and Poland approached the old, decrepit hotel where Poland had opted to stay. Although the location was good, it was in a relatively shady part of town. Poland opened the door and led Lithuania up to his room.

Up the creaking stairs and past a few vintage chairs, Poland found himself standing in front of the door to his hotel room. "Well, here we are..." Poland exhaled deeply as he turned the key and opened the door.

The inside of the room was a bit of a mess. Clothes were thrown everywhere and there was a clear smokey smell emanating from it. “I’m um, sorry it’s a bit of a mess.” Poland carefully pulled off his shoes before he entered the rundown room. He quickly began to clear the bed, shoving countless outfits and accessories into his suitcase. “I spent a while trying to get ready before the date tonight so…” He liked to look his best, even at times when he felt like crap.

Lithuania entered, following behind Poland and kicking off his shoes. “Is this all yours?” he asked as he stopped outside the bathroom, looking in.

“Yeah…” Poland saw Lithuania peeking in the bathroom and realized he had left all of his cosmetics lined up across the counter. “I didn’t know who I was meeting so, like, you know…” Poland’s face burned red as he looked at the amount of make-up he had to use to conceal himself and he quickly rushed in to put it all away. He wanted his skin to look normal, human. “I wanted to look my best from head to toe.” Poland forced out a bit of a chuckle. He really didn’t want Lithuania to see how much of a wreck he had become in the last century.

“I see…” Lithuania smiled softly and walked back into the main part of the room. There was a moment’s pause. “There is only one bed…”

“Yeah.” Poland dropped his cosmetics bag next to his suitcase. He had no intention of sharing the bed with Lithuania. After all, he had doubts that he would be able to sleep no matter where he lay. Poland suffered from insomnia if there wasn’t a warm body next to him. Lithuania could have been that warm body, but Poland didn’t want to burden him with any more favours. Usually, he had his horse to buddy up to at night, but tonight, his pony friend wasn’t there. “That’s okay though, right?” He spoke quickly, a bit of a slur in his words from the alcohol, as he continued to remove more clutter from the bed.

There was a huff, and Lithuania started to head to the doorway, preparing to leave, but before he could even put his hand to the door, Poland continued, “It’s okay with me, you can take the bed.” After all, Lithuania deserved it. He had stuck around and helped Poland deal with that horrible moment in the parking lot, something that he would not have been able to deal with on his own. “I just need a pillow and I can take the floor.”

“I…” Lithuania stopped at the doorway and turned around, looking at Poland with sheer confusion. “I-- I can go, I think.”

The rain outside had picked up, and it was pounding on the rooftop. It’d be impossible to find somewhere even remotely comfortable to sleep, and even though Lithuania could handle that and worse, he didn’t need to. Poland didn’t want him to. “No, it’s like, totally fine.” Poland forced a smile and yanked a pillow off of the bed. “I’m like, really tired and whatever so I’ll just, you know…” His brain was still a mess from the events that transpired earlier and he was still dizzy from the alcohol.

Lithuania gave Poland a confused, yet worried look and walked back in. It was clear he was still somewhat intoxicated himself. “You’re not going to do anything crazy while I sleep, are you?”

This time, Lithuania’s attempt at a joke did not register in Poland’s head, and Poland frowned. He didn’t have any plans to do anything sneaky or betray Lithuania. All he wanted to do was offer the man a place to sleep instead of making him go out in the rain, especially after he had helped him. Truth be told, Poland didn’t like Lithuania, and he certainly didn’t want to share his room with him. He also didn’t like how they were geographic neighbours, and because of this had to always be near each other, regardless of if they wanted to or not. Even at work for the last few years, they had been forced to sit next to one another.

Poland felt his heart race as he looked at the sloppy man in front of him and forced himself to come up with something to say. Although he wouldn’t be as concise as he usually was, since he was still buzzed, he gave it his best shot. “Look, Lietuva.” He tried to be respectful with his words, but his voice was filled with disdain. As much as Poland had been trying to turn the other cheek and be forgiving, he couldn’t forget all that Lithuania had done to him.

At the end of World War I, Poland and Lithuania’s relationship had fallen into utter chaos. They went all out at one another, fighting against a revival of a Commonwealth Lithuania didn’t want. Poland had gone so far as to even take Lithuania’s capital, something that, in hindsight, had been a shitty move on his part. Lithuania had committed unspeakable horrors in retaliation. The two had brutalized one another until the madness of World War 2 consumed them completely.

“I don’t know what you take me for, but I’m not a creep.” Poland held his tongue, a rush of memories flooding into his mind. “What we had, it’s over. I need time to repair myself and focus on me. After everything I’ve been through, all I want is a little bit of happiness, and I can’t face myself to be by your side after all that we did to one another, okay? I don’t want you.”

Lithuania’s eyes widened at the words, but he didn’t seem upset by them. In fact, he looked relieved. “I’m glad.” He sat down at the foot of the bed and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m surprised I made it this far… I gave it my all for freedom... “ A smile formed on his lips. “I hope I can give it my all again if I have to.”

“There is no doubt in my mind.” Poland forced a smile and started to walk towards his suitcase. “Look at you! Free!” Lithuania’s freedom pleased him nearly as much as his own. After all, he had worked to protest and argue as much as he could when Russia had tried to drag Lithuania back under control in 1991. He wanted to help Lithuania even despite their rocky history. “...and despite your weird Russian accent, you’re still you!” He began to dig through his suitcase in search of a flask.

The actions of the night had proven that the man inside Lithuania hadn’t yet been killed and that he was still a tough and serious being. Poland felt a sense of grace he hadn’t felt in a while at the realization Lithuania was still himself, just a bit different.

Poland eventually found what he was looking for and cracked it open, taking a swig of the Spirytus Rektyfikowany inside. It tasted horrible, and even his strong Slavic body could hardly handle the burn. He felt like gagging, but that feeling quickly subsided as the strong alcohol took hold.

"Yeah... Let's just see how long independence lasts for me this time." Lithuania’s voice sounded muffled through the alcohol-induced haze gnawing at Poland’s mind. “Should you be drinking that much?”

Poland probably didn’t need it, but the warm, relaxing sting of an alcohol that was strong enough to throw even him off a horse was all he needed at the moment. He was still tense, but he wanted to maintain a somewhat happy composure, and the alcohol was certain to help with that. “What do I have to worry about, my liver?” he scoffed. “Brain?” He closed the bottle back up and tossed it aside before realizing he should offer a share to Lithuania. “Oh, did you want some?”

“No…” Lithuania’s handsome face twisted in a frown. “You just had a lot to drink at the restaurant, that’s all,” he said, unzipping his jacket and putting it to his side. “I thought you’d be ready to stop for the night.”

Poland shook his head. He wanted to tell Lithuania he couldn’t stop. Alcohol had become a crutch for him, a saviour in the dark times of the Soviet Regime, and something he had been unable to pull himself away from. Every time he tried, he would find himself crawling back towards it, hoping to shut up the demons in his head. “I’m probably going to sleep soon, that’s what I’m going to do,” he slurred, the idea of being addicted to alcohol making him feel sick. He went back to his suitcase, pulling out the flask. If he could drink more, he’d forget that feeling and feel better about himself, if even for a moment.

“It wouldn’t be a bad idea, I guess…” Lithuania said before pausing. “Po?”

Poland had the flask in hand and cracked it open, taking another shot of the warm and intoxicating fluid. It felt good, and this time the burn didn’t hurt him nearly as badly. He smiled a bit, feeling the effects almost immediately.

“What the Hell?! Put that down, now!” Before Poland could realize what hit him, he felt the bottle pulled right from his hands. “I don’t care how immortal you are or how much you hate me, you’ve had enough!” Lithuania shouted.

Poland’s joy turned to rage as he realized Lithuania had just taken his flask. “What the fucking Hell?” he screamed out in Polish, anger welling up inside of himself. “You son of a bitch, you can call me a liar and a thief but you take my fucking drink?!” He didn’t want to get physical, he didn’t have the strength, nor the coordination at the moment, so instead, he simply tried to reach for it.

“What’s even in this?” Lithuania asked, cracking it open and sniffing it. His shoulders tensed as the smell hit his nose. “Is this pure ethanol?”

Poland struggled to get the bottle back. “Does it fucking matter?” He felt betrayed. “It’s all that ever works on me!” He tried to reach for it again, but given his weakened state as a nation, he was only about as strong as Lithuania, who had the size against him. This only frustrated him more, and violence began to overtake him. “Whore! I fucking let you stay in my fucking hotel room and this is how you treat me, you son of a bitch!?” He screamed out before he felt himself thrust upon the bed, Lithuania’s hand over his mouth.

Lithuania’s actions were so swift and agile that Poland had no idea what had just happened. “Keep it down, there are people in the rooms next to us,” Lithuania whispered into Poland’s ear.

Poland got even more infuriated and began to struggle to get free from Lithuania’s hold.

“I’m going to give it back to you, but you need to take a good look at yourself,” Lithuania said, his eyes focussed on Poland’s.

A look at himself? He wasn’t the one who had just stolen his alcohol and shoved him into the squeaky old bed of a nasty hotel. “Fucking bitch, I’ll fucking kill you!” Poland tried to get out of his mouth, but Lithuania kept him quiet.

He squirmed a minute longer before the exhaustion of the night caught up with him and he stopped. There was no point in arguing or fighting back over a flask of liquor. He was done anyways, or so he convinced himself.

“Now, I’ll give it back to you.” Lithuania put the flask onto Poland’s chest, his face changing from anger to guilt. “I’m sorry.” Lithuania got off of Poland and immediately started for the door. “I shouldn’t have done that… I just couldn’t stand to see you doing this to yourself.”

In his drunk and confused stupor, Poland was still able to figure out what Lithuania had been trying to do and sat up. He felt bad himself, bad that he had given into the temptation of the bottle. He felt grateful Lithuania had forced him to stop. Maybe not in the best way, but still, in a helpful way. “Where are you going?” Poland asked, the storm outside having gotten even worse.

“What do you mean where am I going?” Lithuania frowned. “I can’t stay here,” he said coldly, adjusting his shoes as he slid them on.

Poland blinked a few times and rubbed his own head. Although he was now perfectly drunk, he wasn’t mad. He actually let the moment that had just happened slide off him, as he often did when bad or unwanted events mixed with alcohol. “I want to quit,” Poland exclaimed. “Like really, really badly.” He wasn’t sure if the words coming out of his mouth were genuine or not, but he took the flask in his hand. “I probably would have had more if you didn’t take it from me…” He stood up and got off the bed. “I’ll throw it out.”

“You don’t have to do that.” Poland heard Lithuania let out an exasperated sigh. “Let’s just forget the whole thing.”

Poland marched towards the bathroom, fighting to stay balanced against the alcohol in his body. “I want to quit,” he repeated, pushing himself towards the sink. “It’s just really difficult.” With great effort, he proceeded to open the flask and dump its contents down the sink drain.

“I know…” Lithuania took a deep breath and pulled his shoes off. He even sat back down on the bed. “I’ve struggled with it too…”

Poland’s head was spinning, but he edged his way back through the room and sat down on the chair. He picked up his pillow and hugged it. It was soft. He liked soft things. Now he was drunk. He liked to be drunk. He didn’t like to be angry when he was drunk, so he tried to think of positive things. “Tonight was fun though, we drank a lot… caught up…” He rambled off-topic, ignoring the fact that the two had just gotten into an alcohol-induced fight, or that he had had a breakdown earlier. “Would’ve been cool to kick France’s ass though.” He smiled.

Lithuania leaned back on the bed and looked over at Poland, his gorgeous eyes once again warming Poland’s heart. “Yeah…” Lithuania moved some in the bed, making himself more comfortable. “We’ll get back at him sometime… maybe at a meeting.” His words trailed off.

Poland nodded. “And I’m going to quit drinking hard alcohol and keep working on fixing myself up!” he boasted. “I’ll become the best country in Europe again, and no one is going to stop me this time! I’ll pick up all the pieces and grow my economy and rebuild my infrastructure and become a real force to be reckoned with!” He waveringly stood up, completely lost in the moment, but his speech went unheard. Lithuania had fallen asleep.

Poland couldn’t help but catch himself now watching Lithuania sleep, his strong chest moving up and down with every breath. Lithuania’s face knew bliss. This made Poland feel warmer than any alcohol he had ever had. That was until he realized that Lithuania had gotten upset about being ogled, and he turned away. Poland wanted to respect Lithuania’s wishes, even if he were asleep, so instead, he turned out the lights and positioned himself in the chair, attempting to doze off.

///

The cold, dark hotel room felt as if it were becoming a prison as Poland sat awake in his chair. His emotions swirled together while his eyes gazed upon Lithuania sleeping peacefully a few meters away from him. His head churned, the increasing headache pulling him in and out of alertness. It was night, but Poland’s insomnia didn’t care about that.

It wasn’t so much that his body wouldn’t let him sleep, but every time he tried to close out the world, he would begin to feel a strange and sudden irrational fear. What if everything were just a dream?

Tension grew stronger as Poland began to remember times he’d woken up in places far from where he’d fallen asleep. Once upon a time, he had dozed off peacefully in one room only to find himself waking up on a cold cement floor in a KGB locker, fallen asleep outside, only to have been dragged into a warehouse and beaten. He couldn’t let it happen again, not now. Even though he was free and there was no logical threat of something happening, he had shared those same thoughts the nights he was kidnapped.

Poland felt his heartbeat pick up, his vision blur, even as he tried to focus on Lithuania’s still form in front of him. He wanted to sleep, he craved it, but his body would tell him lies and force him to stay awake.

Envy filled him as he watched Lithuania’s tranquil rest. The other’s presence still reassured him, but the whole evening had felt so surreal he began to wonder if he wasn’t just dreaming now. He longed to sit next to Lithuania, to feel the warmth and presence of another living creature beside him. Securing him. At times of unrest, Poland would find himself snuggling against his Pony for comfort, the only stable salvation to a lonely night he could count on for most of his meagre existence.

He continued to stare, remembering the times he and Lithuania would lay together under the night sky in their farmlands, entwined in the golden piles after a hard day’s work. Nostalgia overcame him, memories of castles and partnership, solidarity. Lithuania had come to Poland in a time of need, he’d become his friend, his partner, and eventually his other half.

Hot tears welled up in Poland’s eyes as he looked at the man he used to love. Lithuania had always been one of the most important pieces of his life. Poland began to sob, getting lost in the thoughts of his greater days. He held onto his pillow tightly, finding comfort in at least that.

With a sudden jolt, Lithuania sprang awake in the silent room, making Poland jump a little bit. He watched quietly through tears as the dark silhouette of the man in front of him sat up and wiped his forehead. Lithuania’s breathing was heavy, but he seemed relieved when a quick look around reminded him where he was.

Poland stared at Lithuania, trying to understand why he had woken up so suddenly, before burying his face in his pillow and pretending he was asleep. He didn’t want Lithuania to see him awake, or worse, crying again. Eventually, Lithuania rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom. He wasn’t making much noise, so Poland took his time cracking open his eyes again.

In spite of his efforts, he still miscalculated his timing. Lithuania was out of the bathroom the next instant, a cup in his hand and confusion in his eyes. “Po?” Lithuania questioned. His voice sounded shaky, but he was awake and calm.

“I’m asleep.” Poland felt his mouth spill out the words before he realized that the answer wouldn’t make very much sense. “I mean…” He tried to backpedal, but he was too tired to fight. His head pounded with exhaustion and his hangover.

“Are you alright?”

Poland squeezed his legs against himself, practically in a fetal position, hugging the pillow for dear life. He didn’t know how to answer, and he wasn’t sure where to start. He just felt drained, and seeing Lithuania there both brought him comfort and a wave of anxiety.

“I think it’s alright if I leave now.”

Upon hearing those words, Poland felt his body seize, a pressure in his chest forming violently as he fought back tears. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he didn’t want to be left alone. Someone might come get him and take him away.

“It’s stopped raining and so I can just go take a walk or something before I have to catch my flight.” Lithuania’s presence was ambivalent, yet soothing.

Poland tried to utter a sound, begging him to stay, but all that escaped his lips was a faint, “Oh…” He stared at Lithuania’s dishevelled form, heart and head throbbing, unable to say all that he wanted to say.

Besides struggling to sleep, Poland had likewise been wrestling his thoughts about Lithuania and their shared past. He remembered what he had done, had seen it himself written in the Lithuanian documents and historical notes he’d read. Those may as well have been written in blood. Even if his people told him differently, he couldn’t help but feel sick about how he may have hurt Lithuania. He’d never wanted to hurt him but right now, Poland didn't want to be left alone, even if Lithuania had every right to leave.

“You can take your bed back and--”

“Don’t go…” Poland wanted to bury himself in the chair and hide, disappear off the face of the earth again. He looked up and felt the sting of tears burning behind his eyes.

"Why?" Lithuania growled. As he crushed the cup in his hand, cold aggression and ferocity emanated from his being.

“Please.” Poland sniffled. All he wanted was someone familiar to spend the night with him. It didn’t matter that it was Lithuania. It could have been Germany or Prussia for all he cared, “I won't ask anything again.” He choked on his words. “Just stay, please.” Poland grasped his pillow like a vice. “I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to fall asleep.”

Keeping a watchful eye on Poland, Lithuania sat at the foot of the bed and proposed another, “Why?” He scrutinized Poland with the same fiery eyes that burned his enemies to the ground.

“What if I wake up and I’m not here?” Poland couldn’t hold back anymore, and he felt the tears breakthrough full force. "What if the last three years had been a dream and I’m still--” Memories and fears of the horrors he’d been through and witnessed seized his mind again.

Lithuania let out a deep sigh. “Alright… I’ll stay.”

Poland turned to Lithuania with confusion, his shock masked only by his pain. Lithuania looked blurry from behind his tears, so he couldn’t tell by looks alone what the man was thinking. He reminded himself that this was Lithuania, the one he knew and fell in love with, but also the one who… Poland couldn’t bring himself to carry on that thought. He wanted to remember Lithuania as what he knew of him before World War I… Before the Partitions. The kind and good-hearted man who would push through any amount of shit to see someone happy.

“Do you usually have trouble sleeping?” Lithuania’s words broke Poland’s trance, and Poland pulled himself away from the chair.

“Yes.” Poland wiped tears away with his hand, whatever remainder of makeup he was still wearing smudging onto his palms. He didn’t want to give Lithuania a detailed answer. He didn’t deserve it. Lithuania probably didn’t care about Poland’s feelings as much as Poland didn’t care about Lithuania’s. Besides, it was pathetic that he had such a struggle to begin with, but he couldn’t help himself as he felt the words flow out his mouth as if Lithuania were still his friend and not a monster. “I usually drink until I pass out or lay next to my horse.” Hearing it out loud sounded even dumber than he’d imagined, and he sniffled, the craving for normalcy overwhelming him. “I just need to have something by my side at night… It’s stupid.”

Lithuania was quiet for a moment. His figure becoming clearer and clearer as Poland was able to get control over his feelings again. Lithuania was an exhausted wreck himself. It was the middle of the night, and he seemed to have woken up rather suddenly.

He could make out just enough of Lithuania’s face to see that something was wrong with him, but Poland quickly excused it as a hangover.

“Do you want to lay next to me?” said Lithuania. Poland was sure he hadn’t heard him right. “If it helps you, I don’t mind.”

“What?” Poland had to be sure. Maybe there was a barrier in their understanding of one another, or in the haze of crying, he was hearing gibberish.

“It’s my fault you threw out your alcohol, and I’m sure you want to be well-rested for tomorrow, so… You can lay next to me, if you need to.”

Poland froze in his shock, surprised that Lithuania would propose such a thing. Didn’t Lithuania remember everything he had done to him? Poland was a monster, an invader, a beast who stole prized land and fought defiantly against Lithuania’s wishes… ...but Lithuania… was all the same too. A cold-blooded murderer filled with hate and selfishness, a man who at a time would have loved to see Poland’s head on a spike.

Poland wanted to refuse, but his body fought him, the desire for comfort and sleep ripping him in two. “Are you sure?” Maybe Lithuania would change his mind and realize his proposal.

“Yes.” Lithuania began to pull the covers down. He sounded cranky and irritated, probably not the most excited about his offering, but following through with his words regardless. “Just try not to touch me, okay?”

Poland gave it one last thought, but he took it, snatching his pillow and darting quickly towards the bed. “Thank you,” he muttered, placing pride and dignity aside for sleep, just as he would when taking a stale scrap of food in exchange for a few hours of feeling nourished.

He dove under the covers, adjusting himself quickly. The soft sheets felt like the ones he had at home, and he couldn’t help but feel at ease in them. Even as Lithuania got in, he moved his legs around in the cozy fabric, the mattress like a cloud.

“Just sleep, okay?” Lithuania was as far away from Poland as he could be. “This will be good enough for you, right?”

Poland let out a deep breath. “Yes…” He felt Lithuania’s warmth billow towards him. “Really, thank you…” It offered a familiarity he hadn’t felt in centuries.

He couldn’t help but wiggle in the blankets. The happiness of being next to Lithuania felt otherworldly. Sleeping next to his horse was one thing, Hungary or Bulgaria, or even Italy another, but Lithuania was a feeling he couldn’t even comprehend. History and bad feelings aside, the presence of a man he’d spent centuries with were inexplicable.

“Can you stop?” Lithuania’s words hit Poland’s ears like a sword to the face. “I have no problem with getting out of the bed and leaving you to deal with your problems yourself.”

Poland stopped moving, hoping to do anything in his power to keep this moment from ending. He looked up at the ceiling, keeping his eyes off of Lithuania, his mind slowly fogging as sleep took hold of him. His eyelids grew heavy and he drifted off without a thought.  
\---  
Poland felt his eyes open at the morning light coming through the windows, a heavy weight across his chest. His eyes widened in surprise until he realized the weight was nothing other than the strong and muscular arm of Lithuania.

Poland swallowed hard. This felt wrong, but he didn’t want to say anything. He turned his eyes to look at Lithuania, yet all he saw on his handsome face was nothing but a blissful sleep. “Li…” He stopped himself from saying more. He didn’t want to wake Lithuania up. He didn’t know if Lithuania slept a lot or not, and sleep was important, even for immortal things like themselves.

Instead, Poland stayed as still as possible, but took in the feeling of contact, as dirty as it felt. He knew Lithuania wouldn’t want this, but the touch-starved Poland took every fleeting second of this contact as if it were a gift from God. He praised it, thankful for this moment, before drifting back to sleep.

He wasn’t sure how much longer he had slept, but when he came to, Lithuania was pulling himself out of bed and getting ready to leave. Lithuania seemed angry, in a hurry, his shoulders tense, even as he tried to stretch.

“Hey…” Poland spoke up before Lithuania could leave. He needed to thank him at the very least, let him know the evening wasn’t in vain and that actually, even if it was an emotionally charged ride, it was kind of nice. Despite all the crying.

Lithuania turned to face Poland, his eyes showing little emotion, as if he had withdrawn himself from the situation at hand. “Hey,” he replied. It wasn’t a warm reply, but it wasn’t cold, either. There was something hiding behind his words. “I’m going to head out now…” It was almost like that last sentence was forced out.

“Thank you…” Poland nodded and rubbed his eyes with his hands, “I feel well-rested, so, like thanks…” He smiled, kind of embarrassed about the whole thing, but feeling too good to be mad. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” Lithuania replied. “I’m going to make my way to the airport. Do you think we can, um…” Lithuania paused a moment. “...not mention any of this to anyone?”

“If you don’t, I won't.” Poland was a man of honour in those regards. At least, he liked to think he was. He was honest, under God, under his name. It was who he wanted to be. “Promise.” He slid himself over in the bed where Lithuania had been laying, the spot still warm from the other’s body heat. It felt magical.

“No, no, I have no intention.” Lithuania had his hand on the doorknob, ready to get out of there. “Have a good time in Paris,” he said, walking out of the room, leaving no time for Poland to reply this time.

Poland sighed when Lithuania left, and he couldn’t help but feel distraught about the way things had become, but he was well-rested enough to be able to put the thought aside. He knew deep down this wasn’t the first time that he had a friend who had turned their back on him or changed. Prussia, or Gilbert, or whatever he was called now had done the same. Once friends, now… nothing. Though that felt different. At least when he had been friends with Gilbert, they were children. Lithuania had been his partner for centuries more, nearly half a millennium at each other’s side.

“Change…” Poland was no stranger to change. “I won't let the past hold me back… Lithuania or not.” With those words, he made a promise to himself that he would keep facing forward and accept that things wouldn’t ever be what they were back then.

After all, it was a new start. Communism was over. Now, he was free and back in control, and this time, nothing was going to stop him. He was Poland, after all, and the only person allowed to keep Poland down was Poland.


	2. Prologue (Lithuania)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lithuania's Point of View.

Lithuania walked with an upbeat step towards the fancy French establishment. The shadow of the Eiffel Tower loomed over him as the sun began to set, giving the sky an orange and warm appearance. The classy seating arrangements outside were filled with people speaking and laughing in a language far from his own, or even Russian, which gave him an extra sense that he was now free to once again travel the world in peace.

Taking a deep breath, Lithuania opened the door of the building, feeling an intense rush of energy as he sensed that at least one of his kind was inside the building. His heart began to throb as his stomach churned, the strong emotion driving a sense of fear through his body. He felt his hands shake, but he did his best to write off whoever they could be. After all, he believed France was only setting him up on a one night stand with a human, giving him a break from being a nation for once.

Lithuania approached the hostess and explained he was there on a blind date, to meet someone new. When she pointed in the direction of the one he was supposed to meet, Lithuania’s shoulders fell, and a wave of confusion swept over him when he realized that it was Poland.

He debated whether he should turn around, leave, run far away from there and abandon the other on the date. Poland deserved to be stood up and let down, but then Lithuania remembered that France had urged him to come on this date, and he didn’t want to let France down.

Lithuania stood in frustration for a few minutes, but eventually made his way over towards the table. He clenched his fists and gritted his teeth harder and harder as he got closer, until he could see the pale, painted-up face of the man who had betrayed his trust for centuries. “I shouldn’t have agreed to this.” He spoke in his own language, the only one he really felt comfortable using. He glared down at the other, infuriated that of all the people in the world, of course it’d be Poland.

“Tolys...” Poland looked back at the man, his green eyes glittering. Poland looked as if he was almost joyful to see the man standing there at the table beside him, but he quickly turned away, bending over and whispering, “That bastard.” His words were muddled but Lithuania could hear them quite clearly.

Unsure of what he wanted to do, Lithuania stood next to the table, his eyes still focussed on Poland. His fancy, refined clothes reminding Lithuania that to the other he was just a peasant in the eyes of a ‘strong and bold’ survivor. Although they had shared so much of a common history, Poland always overshadowed him and garnered all the attention. Even as Lithuania screamed for help alongside the other two Baltic States, the west only seemed to listen to the east when Poland got louder.

Despite his intense emotions, Lithuania sat down anyways, and with great speed took a glass of wine for himself. If he was going to try to pull through the night as he had promised France, he would need all the alcohol he could get. He guzzled the wine down and took a second glass, refusing to take his eyes off of Poland for a single instant . He felt intensely sick at the idea of being there across from Poland, but he didn’t want to back down. If anything, tonight would be a night to prove that Poland was just as bad as he remembered. Already, he believed the entire thing was a set up. That Poland was the one who brought him here.

“This is not cool,” he heard Poland say through the haze of his own anxiety. The Polish language sounded like surreal Russian in his mind. He knew they were all different, that Polish was a league of its own, but the tone and vibes of the language made him feel sicker. “Why would he do this?”

Lithuania looked back at Poland with even more force. He wanted this man in front of him to disappear, to rot in the ground where he deserved to be. If it hadn’t been for this new, fancy, modern way of doing things, he’d have Poland’s head on a plate for setting them up like this and using France as the disguise to get the job done.

Both nations sat with sealed lips and slow movements while they figured out what they were going to order. Lithuania made sure to keep an eye on Poland the entire time. If that bastard was going to pull something he needed to make sure that he was going to catch it and stop it from happening as quickly as he could.

“I’m going to flag down the waiter,” Poland said as he closed his menu, placing it aside. He seemed so calm and normal in his actions. It was unreal how the other acted as if nothing were wrong. “Are you ready to order?”

He didn’t hate the Polish language, but he had rage towards it. Slavic languages, for the time being, sounded like nails on a chalkboard to him. All Lithuania wanted was for Poland to stop talking so they could eat their food and he could go home. Obviously, there was no way he was going to pass up an expensive dinner at France or Poland’s expense, so he played along for now. He looked up from his menu and gave Poland a dirty look, but one he knew would get the point across that yeah, he was ready to order and move on with the night himself.

"I'll take that as a yes..." Poland said with a relatively polite tone, the lack of hatred in his voice leaving Lithuania with an even greater rage. Poland was acting too calm to not have been a part of the setup of this event. He knew Poland liked to make the best of bad situations, but this was bad, and there was no reason for him to be so polite about it. His kindness felt so kind it read as fake. Always fake. “We need more wine anyways.”

“Beer,” Lithuania let out, trying to use as little of the other’s language as he could. He knew he was going to be there for a while, so he pulled off his jacket and stuck it on the back of the chair. With that, he polished off his glass of wine, the sweet safety of alcohol helping blind him from his problems.

“Beer?” Poland asked quietly, tilting his head and sounding quite intrigued. His cute, refined face didn’t have any form of malice or betrayal in it. “...and food?”

Poland was good at acting and Lithuania knew that. The sweet Catholic look wouldn’t fool him. “I can order myself. I’m not incompetent,” Lithuania spat, knowing that he, too, knew French. Kind of. He had spent the last week preparing himself for ordering at restaurants and remembering the language the best he could. Although once able to use it well, he had long since forgotten it. The idea of ordering in a language he was uncomfortable with did make him tense.

He kept his eyes on Poland, watching him fiddle around with some jewellery on his wrist, a sign he could tell that the other was anxious. Good. He needed to be anxious. He deserved to feel anxious. He wondered how much practice and effort Poland had gone through to set this whole thing up. God, what a joke.

“If I knew it was going to be you, I wouldn’t have come.” Lithuania looked back at his menu as he saw the waiter approach. He nervously gave his order, shaking with rage and the fear of messing up, but with the knowledge that he was ordering by himself, without help.

Poland ordered too, having no difficulty with French at all. It seemed to come almost naturally to him. He must have spent years perfecting it and maintaining it even if he hadn’t needed it. Then again, French was an important language, one that mattered to the rest of the world. Lithuanian mattered to no one.

Both sat silently again, going through the motions of having no idea what to do or say to one another. Occasionally, Lithuania shot a glare towards Poland, but in doing so they eventually made eye contact.

"So..." Poland spoke up, his voice weak and shaky.

“I’m here for the food and beer, not to talk to you.” This time he spoke in Lithuanian, his ‘uncared-for’ language that was so heavily beaten out of him by Poland and Russia, “If you can’t understand me then that’s your problem.” He felt proud knowing he was able to use a language Poland wouldn’t have had any reason at all to maintain. After all, no one cared about Lithuania to begin with, let alone his language.

"Um, well, actually--" The words hit Lithuania hard as Poland began to speak in Lithuanian. It was bad, unsteady, and carried a heavy Polish accent, but it was Lithuanian. “I can understand you… I want to take this unlikely and unfortunate chance to talk… or something.”

Lithuania's brow furrowed in frustration. The bastard remembered his language too? For what purpose? Why? They could communicate in Polish, Russian, English… Poland had no need to know Lithuanian. “Don’t do that.” He felt disgusted hearing his language come out with such a voice.

"Do what?" Poland replied, continuing to use the other nation's language. “I was just replying to you..."

Lithuania's face twitched and he reached over the table, snatching the other’s drink and swallowing it hard. Alcohol was the only escape from this Hell right now. It was the only thing he could trust and use to get a grip on himself. He couldn’t believe Poland had taken the time to maintain his small, archaic language for no real reason. It had to be a joke. "...and I said I don't. Want. To hear it." Lithuania returned the glass from where he had gotten it and leaned back in his chair, eagerly waiting for the sweet, sweet alcohol to fully take effect over him. "Knowing you, you probably bribed France or asked him to set this whole thing up for you so you could get a chance to manipulate me once again. I'm not having that."

"I- What? He did this to me, too." Poland seemed to tense up at the implication that it had been his plan. Of course he would deny it. Classic Poland, living in denial of all his wrongs while stepping on the heads of others to get what he wanted. "Francis told me he had someone in mind and wanted to set me up on a date. I'm totally not interested in long term dating right now, but he said the guy was going to be the perfect match for me."

Lithuania listened, almost wanting to laugh at Poland’s poor attempt to save face. Poland was such a naive little man. Always trying to do what Poland wanted to do and Poland could get away with. It didn’t matter what Lithuania wanted, so long as Poland could get what Poland wanted.

“I wasn’t going to pass up a chance…” Poland spoke as the waiter came by and delivered their next drinks. “People say he knows romance…” He rubbed his arms, and it almost seemed like he wanted to hug himself.

Lithuania only watched and listened to Poland speak, nervous and furious about the night. His hands shook with unmanageable anger and terror. “He doesn’t know anything.” He set down his drink, worried he might spill it. “I only came for the food and trip out here,” he hissed, the amount of betrayal he felt, incomparable. “But I guess I can’t trust that, either.”

"Well, I trust the food will be good," Poland said with an upbeat voice that just drove in even further that this all had to be an act. “200 Franc a dish, it better be good! At least he’s covered all of this…”

"You mean he said he'll cover all of this." Lithuania didn’t believe a word Poland or France said. This all had to be some extravagant plot to get Lithuania to trust and fall for Poland again so Poland could swoop in and take the newly independent nation all for himself. It kept making more sense. The effort to maintain Lithuanian, the set up, the calm feelings of the evening. It was bullshit and he could smell it a mile away.

“You look well…” Poland commented politely.

“I don’t want your false flattery.” Lithuania knew he didn’t look good. He was wearing America’s old clothes, and besides cleaning up a little bit, he hadn’t even made an attempt to groom himself. He wasn’t even sure he owned a hairbrush, let alone had his hair trimmed in months. “I just want to eat and get out of here.” He wanted Poland to shut up, too, but that wasn’t going to work.

"Alright, you sound like you're the world’s worst Russian spy trying to be a Lithuanian," Poland retorted.

Those words hit Lithuania like a train, and he stood up, ready to lunge at Poland. “What is that supposed to mean?” he demanded. “I sound like everyone...else…” He stopped when he actually took a second to hear himself speak. Thick Russian accents were laced through his beautiful Lithuanian language. He felt himself go weak and all he could do was fall into his chair. It was true. Not only was it true, but Poland had said it honestly to him. Even though he was speaking Lithuanian, he sounded Russian.

The world seemed to fade around Lithuania as he felt emotions he couldn’t grasp rise inside of him. He wanted to cry, he wanted to fight, but at this time there really was nothing he could fight for.

“It’s unique.” Poland kept up his polite act.

The words prompted Lithuania to look up, but when he saw who was saying them, he looked back down. He didn’t want to be pitied or looked down upon, and ‘unique’ was not a word that fit this situation. ‘Unique’ was Lithuanian. Pure Lithuanian. A language that transcended thousands of years, whose roots could be traced almost directly to early the ancient languages of the Baltic Peoples. That was something that made him unique. Not a ‘Russian accent’ heavily influencing his language.

"Unique suits you.” The words Poland said went through one ear and out the other. Lithuania just couldn’t handle listening to him speak any further, nor did he want to hear himself speak. Even as the waitress brought over their meals, the two continued to sit and stare in silence.

“Is it that strong?” Lithuania looked up. He had finally mustered the courage to speak again, and he felt like a lost puppy looking for its owner. “Do I still sound like me?” He started to realize that he was breaking apart inside. Feeling as if he needed validation from someone else and that the only person there was Poland. He didn’t want validation from Poland.

“No, but it’s not because of your accent.”

“Then what is it?” Lithuania could feel the adrenaline pumping through his veins. He clenched his fists, he felt his jaw go tight. Everything made sense now, the picture crystal clear in his mind. Poland was trying to break him down so he could manipulate him and take control of him again. “Is it because I’m not- Flocking to your feet about meeting you here?” Even if Poland was telling the truth about having no part in setting up the blind date, clearly Poland was using this situation to his own advantage of some kind. He had to be. “Even if it ‘wasn’t your intention’ you are some damn reason that we are here tonight, together in this damn place.” He could remember all the things he had been told, the things he never noticed during the Commonwealth. The slow Polish takeover, or the major power imbalance that started to eat Lithuania from the inside out. His people had told him, his historians had pointed out facts. Even neighbouring nations had told him that these were things Poland had done.

Lithuania could see Poland tense up at the accusations. “Then again, it’s always been “not your intention.... Taking MY culture, MY religion, forcing me to be YOUR errand boy. Those weren’t your intentions either, right?” He was free, and he was going to enjoy that freedom more than any other nation could for as long as he could. “Well I’m not your filthy fucking errand boy. I’m a goddamn independent country with my OWN ideas and I’m not about to let YOU come back into MY life and take that from me.” He slammed his fists down on the table.

The room had all eyes on the two foreigners sitting at the table. Lithuania stared down his foe like he was a wolf ready to go in for the final kill.

“No-- I--” Poland spoke up, clearly terrified and intimidated by his words.

“Then what. Is. It?” He kept the face up. “All I wanted to do was come here, take my damn food, maybe have a few beers, enjoy my night.” He felt like he was hammering in the nail that would show him what a monster Poland was. “Have a good conversation with someone new. A fresh start.” He made his look stronger, pushing all his energy into staring down the smaller man. “NOT WITH YOU.”

It seemed with those last words, Poland was starting to get fired up. Lithuania could see his foe squirming for the desire to battle. The ancient warrior he saw in Poland trying to fight back against the face he wore in public. “I didn’t set us up you bastard!” The words streamed out in Polish, words laced with ferocity only Lithuania could recall when Poland was enraged. He stood up and leaned in towards Lithuania, pressing his forehead against the other’s and looking him dead in the eyes. “But all I’ve been doing has been trying to get us to enjoy the night! Whether you like it or not, we’re tied together so we might as well try to make the best of it!”

Lithuania could see tears forming in Poland’s eyes, but they weren’t tears of anger and hatred. He could tell that Poland was feeling something else.

“I don’t think I can ever forgive myself and I don’t want you to forgive me, but please…” Poland was tearing up more now. “Let’s just do what we’re good at and make the best out of a terrible situation.” With that, Poland fell back into his chair and turned away.

It took a moment for Lithuania to register in his head the exchange the two had just had, but suddenly, he himself started to understand. The tears and emotions he was seeing from the other weren’t testaments to anger and pity towards Lithuania, they were ones of guilt. He suddenly felt intense emotions overcome him as he realized Poland maybe did learn from what he had done. Maybe in the drunken moment, he had jumped to conclusions, or maybe his instincts had been right. He suddenly didn’t know what to believe.

Lithuania sat back down at the table and he felt tears well up in his eyes. Logically, deep inside himself, he knew that Poland had never intended things to go the way they had gone in the Commonwealth, but the echoes of propaganda still creeped through his mind.

He wiped the few tears away from his eyes as a waiter came by to check up on what had just happened and make sure that both customers were okay. Since their ruckus had been rather short lived, and Poland, thankfully, had been able to explain what had happened in French, they were excused for their behaviour. They also took the chance to refresh their beverages, this time ordering something stronger than just wine or beer.

Lithuania’s breathing calmed, and he was able to get a grip of himself again. He felt happy he was able to say some of the things he said, too, even if they were empty winded words at a man who probably never believed he felt that way.

Lithuania eyed the vodka they had mutually agreed to order and took a deep breath. “It’s been a while since I drank this stuff.” Lithuania picked up the first shot glass. “I get cravings for it all the time but I’ve been trying to hold back.”

Vodka was one of the key tools in helping keep the SSRs from fighting back as strongly as they had. It was like a drug. At least, that’s how Lithuania viewed it. He didn’t hate the alcohol, but he felt like it had become too much of a crutch when he had been under Russia’s rule. Tonight, though, was an exception, and he took the first shot. “It’s not bad…” He picked up another.

He saw Poland smile a little bit and watched him take a shot himself. “I told you this would make all of our feelings better…” He looked proud of that statement, and it reminded Lithuania a little bit about how Poland always took the small things and found the biggest light in them. “I made sure to order the finest Polish vodka and nothing beats that. I mean, you’ve totally been drinking Russian junk for like, decades, so this must be such a nice change.”

Lithuania picked up a third shot and listened to Poland brag. Maybe it was the vodka talking, but there was something about Poland that made him feel comfortable. Even though he felt at times Poland was a bit of an arrogant bastard, he felt safe around that bastard. Logically, he still knew Poland had never intended for anything to happen and even if he did, so far tonight he was proving to be a pretty good guy, even if it was probably an act. “Nah, Russian is better,” he joked downing the drink with a sigh, letting it all sink in.

“Yeah…” Poland stared at Lithuania with a spaced-out look. His eyes seemed to move in a careful manner, gazing over Lithuania’s body. At first, Lithuania thought it was just Poland being drunk and aloof, but his thoughts changed quickly when he heard him utter, “You’re really handsome.”

Lithuania tensed up at that.

“I-I mean that as a friend, not like--”

Lithuania felt his heart start to race, a sheer discomfort overcoming him. He felt naked, objectified, stripped of all his pride and immediately put on his jacket. “We’re not friends.”

Poland seemed to back off at the comment and look away. “Sorry… I didn’t mean it like that.” Poland’s voice shook.

Lithuania took two more shots with ease and leaned forward again, the hate and tension coming back into his eyes. “Don’t ever say anything like that to me again.” Lithuania had been objectified the last few decades of his life. Not only had Russia treated him as a man servant, but he would go so far as to humiliate and sexualize him.

Poland sat still as he watched Lithuania speak. “I’m… I’m....” Poland began to sob.

It took Lithuania a moment to realize that Poland didn’t know. How could Poland know? Russia had kept the two apart from one another for decades, and when they did end up seeing one another, they were never able to speak.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so, so, so, so sorry for everything I’ve done.” It was unlike Poland to cry in public this way. Even when they were younger, Poland never cried in public.

Lithuania leaned back in his chair, feeling a bit more comfortable now that his body was hidden under the jacket again. A part of him wanted to believe Poland really was sorry, and that he was a genuinely kind man with good intentions. “I’m sure you are… but I’m not some toy to be ogled at.” Lithuania took a deep breath before nodding in the direction of a neighbouring table. “I’m never trusting a word that bastard or anyone else says again.” He had only just noticed but France was there, although heavily in disguise. “He probably just wanted a show.”

Poland blinked a few times and glanced in the direction of the table. “A show…” He wiped his tears away, smudged makeup all over his once well-painted face. A few pale scars appeared as the makeup went away. “That bastard…”

The mood at the their table quickly turned from intense mixed emotions to anger as the two came to their own ideas about what the setup of the evening was. “I should have figured he’d have some kind of sick intention like that.” If Poland really was telling the truth that he had had no say in this, it really would make sense that France would want nothing but a dinner and a show. Getting the two of them back together after what they had been through would have been a great show. Lithuania looked at his plate of food and then back at France. It was just a trick. It had to be.

“He would do this! We’ve always been jokes to these fucking westerners.” Poland’s face tensed up, a scowl forming across his lips. He put his fists against the table. “I’m going to give him a piece of my fucking mind.” Poland stood up, his face showing, to Lithuania, the true side of Poland. “No one treats the Crown of the Polish Kingdom this way.”

Lithuania blinked a few times at what he had just heard the fellow nation refer to himself as. It was such a long and obsolete title, but he didn’t care. It was Poland. He was drunk and he wanted revenge. The anger Poland felt was emanating through Lithuania, and he could feel himself getting pumped up, too. “What’s our game plan?” Lithuania stood up, proud they had opted to speak Lithuanian most of the night. “I doubt he can understand what we’re saying.”

“Game plan? We act like we’re about to fucking kill him like it’s 1444!” He slammed his fists against the table and started towards the nearby booth.

Lithuania felt his heart race as he saw Poland take action immediately. It was so Poland to just lunge headfirst into things. Usually Lithuania had a plan of some kind, but Poland was always just one of those guys. In a way, Lithuania admired that. Poland never waited for the door to open. He just ran headfirst through them like a bull.

“Ah, I see you’ve spotted me.” France put down his large newspaper and took off a hat and a fake mustache. “Ah, it’s so sweet that I was able to unite you both after the reckless hardships you two have been through.” France smiled gently towards the two he had so carefully set up. “I hope you’ve bonded well.”

“Yeah, we have ‘bonded’.” Lithuania muttered sarcastically using French to the best of his ability. It was never a language he had needed to learn, so he stopped using it after France had broken his promise to them.

“We’ve bonded about kicking your fucking ass for setting us up like this,” Poland jumped in, his French far smoother.

France smiled a bit, drunk on fine wines and cheer at hearing that the two had bonded. “I’m happy to hear that you two have gotten along well, ah, it was my goal all along.”

Lithuania and Poland looked at one another, the familiar sense of kinship they had shared with one another igniting fires in them. For the moment, Lithuania felt comfortable right alongside Poland, at least when it came to beating the crap out of someone.

“I’m glad we bonded too,” Poland said, leaning towards France as Lithuania felt the warrior inside him trying to fight its way out. “...because we’ll be eagerly awaiting you in the parking lot after this. We’ve planned a thank you gift.” Poland winked and started back for the table.

Lithuania followed behind to collect their goods and head out. He felt a power inside him he hadn’t felt in years and he smiled. Maybe tonight wouldn’t be such a bad night after all.

“Ah, reborn love.” France smiled, hands over is heart, “I just love getting people back together.”

///

Lithuania followed beside Poland as the two walked out of the restaurant, leftovers in hand. He felt good, the alcohol half holding him together and Poland’s actions helping give him some sort of directive for the moment.

“I can’t believe that guy.” Poland kicked the ground, likewise frustrated about the evening, which offered Lithuania some relief. He was glad that Poland had agreed that this night had been pretty fucked up. “Why would he do this to us?” Poland was still speaking Lithuanian, which also felt strange, but he let it slide. It was good to hear his own language. For almost the entirety of their time together as the Commonwealth, and even before that, they had opted to speak everything but Lithuanian. They’d speak Latin, Polish, and even Ruthenian, but never Lithuanian.

“I don’t know,” Lithuania breathed, exhausted. “Why can’t things just be left the way they are?” He ran his fingers through his hair, getting them caught on a tangle. “I really regret coming out here tonight.”

Lithuania hiccuped, miserable to be beside Poland, but unfortunately lacking anywhere else to go or anything else to do. His French was poor, he hadn’t rented a place to stay, and he was too broke to really enjoy his life at the moment. “I’m too old for this shit,” he yawned.

“I’m just… going to return to the hotel and like, take a bath and pass out.” Poland yawned too, sitting down on the curbside. “I mean, after we kick that guy’s ass.” He laughed, makeup smudged over his face from his tearful moment in the restaurant.

Under the thick coverup and blush laid a few very obvious marks, and Lithuania wondered how long Poland actually spent covering them up. He knew Poland had a few questionable scars, but as dolled up as Poland made himself, he could tell he was still going for a somewhat natural look. A human look.

Lithuania joined Poland on the curbside and took his leftovers, peeking inside the bag to make sure he took the right one. When he opened it, the smell of food rushed through his nose, and his stomach churned. He immediately closed it after confirming it was his and put it aside. There was something unappetizing about food, especially when he was anxious.

“It feels pretty nice out.” Poland put his own leftovers to his side and looked up at the sky. His light blond hair shimmered under the setting sun. “Sitting out here and waiting for France will be a piece of cake.”

Lithuania wondered if France would even come out of the building, but it didn’t matter. None of it really mattered. Here he was, stuck in Paris, sitting next to Poland, a man he had spent so many decades trying to get out of his head. He hated Poland and his arrogant, pompous, two-faced attitude.

He continued to sit, locked in his thoughts as he looked around the darkening Paris skyline. Vilnius had its merits, but much like himself, it still stunk of Soviet grime. Filthy grey blockhouses and slowly rotting cement buildings he couldn’t afford to fix lined his streets. Grotesque monuments to evil stood tall at every corner.

“Is your hotel far from here?” Poland’s voice broke Lithuania’s trance. “I mean, mine is kind of close to here, so I’m not too worried about getting there.”

Lithuania scowled. Did he look like he could afford a place to stay? He couldn’t even afford the trip out, but since it had been paid for by France, he had jumped at the idea. He’d take anything to get away from his sloven and meaningless life for just a moment. “I didn’t get one. It’s nice enough out, I think, and it’s not really in my budget to spend a night in a hotel around Paris.”

“What were you going to do,” Poland asked, “just sleep on a bench?”

What did Poland expect him to do? He didn’t speak French, and it wasn’t like he was a big fan of France, especially after he had set him up on this date. What kind of moronic question was this stupid Slav trying to get at? “It’s not like I have money. I’ll probably just sleep outside somewhere… or stay in some all-night bar.”

It was the truth. He intended to sleep on a bench. It was not the worst way he’d ever had to sleep before. The last fifty years of his life had been an existential nightmare, so a park bench in a nice city was like a palace suite.

Poland smiled and looked towards Lithuania, some passion in his eyes. “Do you… want to stay the night in--”

“No.” Lithuania gritted his teeth and clenched his fists over the idea that Poland would even suggest that. He wasn’t a fool, and he wasn’t about to be manipulated into spending the night with this blond bastard. The last thing he wanted to do was share a night in the same space as Poland. The only reason he hadn't left yet was because they were waiting for France, and he was a little too tipsy to trust himself on finding a good place to sleep.

The beautiful night sky was slowly growing darker as even stars began to disappear behind thick clouds. Although the sun had now set, it was still evident that it was getting cloudier.

“It’s going to rain.” Poland spoke up, probably using rain now as a further excuse to get Lithuania into his bed.

Lithuania wasn’t going to take that, however, and ignored the fact that he was probably going to sleep in a storm now, too. “I know.” Lithuania watched the clouds roll in. “It’s not like I haven’t slept in the pouring rain before.” He paused, remembering the various conditions he had slept in. “...or the frigid snow.” He was fortunate to be able to doze off relatively quickly, no matter the situation. Maybe it was due to overwork, or maybe his body was just starting to lose hope on itself and trying to find ways to put him out of his misery.

After a moment, Poland stood up, clenching his bag in his hand. “I’m going to head back to the hotel now.” He didn’t seem to want to fight or argue with his words. In fact, his reeked of apathy. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

Poland’s behaviour was still suspicious, but Lithuania gave him the benefit of the doubt. “We’re bound by borders, so yeah, I’ll see you around,” Lithuania yawned, giving himself a good stretch. There was a pain in his back, as usual. He was unsure when it had started, but he knew it had to do with events in his past, and that he was unfortunately not finally ageing gracefully towards death.

Lithuania began to muse on the idea of mortality again. He wasn’t fascinated by it, but it did give his mind something to think about while he waited for his brain to sober up, or for an idea to pop into his mind about where he would go to spend the night. A crack of thunder stopped those thoughts, though, and he sighed. It was definitely going to storm.

“I’m going to go then.” Poland lingered, and Lithuania wondered why he hadn’t just walked away. They had said their goodbyes. What was he sticking around for? “Would hate to get caught in the rain and ruin my shoes.”

Poland was obviously lying. He was only waiting for Lithuania to change his mind. It wasn’t going to work. Even as Poland started to walk off with some unease in his step, Lithuania smothered his doubts. That bastard had always been such a drama queen.

Hatred and disgust began to seep into Lithuania’s veins as he realized that he was being guilt-tripped. The fake terror in Poland’s voice at the quake of thunder made him sick, and he couldn’t take it. He stood up, anger seething through his body. He didn’t know what Poland wanted from him, and he wondered why he was only just now up and leaving. “Why aren’t you trying--” A loud flash of light followed by a loud roar of thunder interrupted his words, and Poland fell to his knees.

Lithuania froze. “Po, I…” He approached Poland, wondering exactly why he was acting this way. Maybe he too had too much to drink, or maybe he was just trying to pull a stunt. Though truth be told, Lithuania couldn’t remember Poland ever being this dedicated to tricking him. “You’re a real piece of work, you know that?” Lithuania hissed, closing in on him, but stopping when he noticed him almost clawing the cement. Poland’s breathing was intense and grief-stricken, like a bomb had just gone off.

All of the anger and rage that filled Lithuania’s mind began to dissipate as he was hit by a strong wave of worry. His brain came to as he realized Poland was having a flashback. He’d seen it before with humans and had helped them to work through it, but he’d never seen it before with someone he knew. He himself had vivid dreams, but even then, nothing like this, or so he believed.

Lithuania didn’t even give it a second thought as he put his training into action and began to carefully approach Poland, kneeling down beside him. He wasn’t sure what exactly Poland was experiencing, but he was sure it wasn’t pleasant. He bit his tongue to control his own nerves and present himself as calmly as possible. The worst thing he could do was make any of this worse by frightening him further.

“It’s okay!” Lithuania spoke now in Polish, thinking that the other’s native tongue would give at least some familiarity. He spoke slowly and calmly, both because he hadn’t used Polish in decades, and also because he wanted to make sure that he was being soft and calming towards Poland. Wherever he was in the moment, he wanted the other to feel like he was as close to home as possible. “It’s only a storm.”

Poland’s eyes turned in the direction of Lithuania’s voice and his shoulders relaxed ever so slightly. Although not by a lot, he was at least being heard, and that gave Lithuania some relief back.

He needed to pull Poland out of wherever he was with caution. “A rainstorm, thunder,” Lithuania added. He was uncomfortable doing this at all, but he didn’t want to leave Poland there, stranded in a parking lot.

Lithuania saw Poland begin to come to, but just as luck would have it, another boom of thunder sent Poland flying right into Lithuania.

Poland squeezed Lithuania so tight it felt like a death grip. Although small and delicate looking, Poland was actually incredibly strong. It was nothing Lithuania couldn’t handle, but it still surprised him just how much strength was in this guy’s arms. Poland trembled like a leaf as he clung, and despite his rage, Lithuania couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He’d never seen Poland like this before in his life, but a lot had changed over the last century.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m right here.” Lithuania kept speaking, offering reassurance where he could. He himself felt his chest swell with pity. He could feel the terror and agony Poland was in, and he wanted it to stop. “Is there anything I can do?”

Lithuania felt Poland respond with a shake of his head, and it relieved him that Poland was coming back to the real world. Rain began to fall from the sky, and the smell of wet pavement filled his nose. He was able to focus on that as he stood still, reluctant to scare Poland with a sudden movement.

“Paris, yeah?” Poland mumbled. His face was still in Lithuania’s chest, and he was still clenching his jacket, although his grip had loosened a little bit.

Lithuania smiled that Poland was coming back. “Yeah, Paris,” he reassured him. He didn’t want Poland to see him worrying, nor did he really want to be worrying about Poland.

Some time passed, and eventually, Poland was able to pull himself off of Lithuania. He sat back, his face puffy from crying. He looked terrible like the life had been drained from his body, but he was at least there, awake and aware. “I’m sorry…” Poland said. He looked as if he was about to cry again but stood up. “I’ll go now.”

Lithuania looked towards the ground and back towards Poland, his heart racing as he tried to make a prompt decision about what he should do. He didn’t want to just up and leave Poland after that. As much as he despised the guy, he wanted to make sure he’d get to his hotel okay.

“Stay safe, okay?” Poland started to walk off in the direction of the hotel.

“Wait.” Lithuania stood up. He couldn’t find it in his heart to let Poland just go off alone after that. “Are you still willing to let me stay the night at your hotel room?” He couldn’t believe what he was asking, but it would only be for a night, and if he kept his mind clear the rest of their time together, there would be no way for Poland to pull any nasty tricks. He’d be safe and be able to keep an eye on Poland to make sure he stayed safe too.

Poland stopped walking and turned to Lithuania. “Yeah.” He nodded.

///

Worried that Poland wouldn’t be able to make it back to his hotel safely after his episode in the parking lot, Lithuania opted to follow Poland, despite his negative feelings. They approached an old hotel in a shady part of town, and Poland led Lithuania up through the desolate hallway towards his room.

“Well, here we are…” Poland let out a deep breath before opening the door, revealing a messy room imbued with the scent of lingering smoke. He rushed in, hastily pulling off his shoes and starting to clean the place up. “I’m um, sorry, it’s a bit of a mess,” he said as he worked to clear off the bed. Even for a two night stay, he had enough outfits to fill an entire closet. “I spent a while trying to get ready before the date tonight, so…”

Lithuania walked in and took off his shoes before checking out the hotel room. It wasn’t too bad of a place to stay; a bit run down, but that was to be expected. He stopped as his attention was drawn to the bathroom where Poland had scattered various cosmetics all over the counter. There had to be at least a dozen different tubes and bottles, and while Lithuania couldn't tell powder from concealer, he could tell there were enough cosmetics there to aide Poland in hiding his skin. “Is this all yours?”

In a blur, Poland darted into the bathroom and began to shove everything into a bag, his make-up smeared face red with embarrassment. “Yeah…” he sheepishly replied. “I didn’t know who I was meeting so, like, you know…”

Lithuania didn’t know. He didn’t wear make-up. He didn’t feel it necessary. Most of his scars were easily hideable with a long sleeved shirt and pants, which he would have worn regardless of having scars or not. He began to muse on why Poland needed to cover up so badly.

“I wanted to look my best from head to toe,” Poland tittered as he hustled towards his suitcase.

It was clear to Lithuania that Poland was insecure about his body, but he didn’t call attention to it. The matter was probably best left as it was: a personal matter that didn’t involve him. He remembered that Poland had scars that were questionable, almost Frankenstein-esque, but he hadn’t seen him naked since the 1800s. “I see…”

He recalled meeting Poland again for the first time after the partitions and seeing him complain and yet somehow boast about how he had been torn in three and survived. It was a playful memory, one filled with the nostalgia of meeting a long lost friend after having been separated for years. Of course, that was all before he knew just how bad Poland was. He looked down at his own leg, which had been ripped off during the partitions, and felt frustration begin to build back up inside himself. He was glad to have his leg back, but it was Poland’s fault he had lost it in the first place.

Lithuania made his way back into the main section of the bedroom, but paused when he saw the setup of the room. Tension tugged at his jaw. “There is only one bed…”

Poland glanced up from his suitcase towards Lithuania before mumbling, "Yeah." Lithuania shifted where he stood, clenching and unclenching his hands. "That's okay though, right?" Poland slurred.

Lithuania huffed. It wasn't the idea of sharing a bed with Poland that made him feel bothered, it was the idea that maybe Poland had ulterior motives. While he didn't mind sleeping on the floor, he began to fear Poland doing something and edged closer to the door.

“It’s okay with me, you can take the bed,” Poland continued. "I just need a pillow and I can take the floor."

No matter how Lithuania strained his ears, he couldn’t hear the malice he suspected. He stopped and turned around to face Poland, the sudden generosity and hospitality Poland was offering making his head spin faster. “I…” He remembered a selfish blanket-hog that struggled with the concept of sharing, not this stranger offering to sleep on the floor. “I-- I can go, I think,” he uttered as the rain pounded the rooftop. Braving the weather would be almost as risky as staying with Poland.

“It’s like, totally fine,” Poland reaffirmed, plucking a pillow off the bed. “I’m like, really tired and whatever so I’ll just, you know…” His words were fragmented by more than just the alcohol.

The filler in his words began to concern Lithuania, making him worry whether Poland was okay. He took a step towards Poland but stumbled a bit, realizing he was still somewhat drunk himself. He shook it off as nothing. He was solid and aware of his situation and surroundings, so he decided to stay. “You’re not going to do anything crazy while I sleep, are you?” he joked, halfheartedly trying to liven up his own mood and maybe, just maybe make Poland aware that he was still suspicious.

Poland frowned. “Look, Lietuva. I don’t know what you take me for, but I’m not a creep.” Something besides distaste for the joke hid itself behind Poland’s words. “What we had, it’s over. I need time to repair myself and focus on me. After everything I’ve been through, all I want is a little bit of happiness, and I can’t face myself to be by your side after all that we did to one another, okay? I don’t want you.”

Those words immediately resonated with Lithuania, and it felt as if his heart stopped. It was something he had wanted to hear, and although he didn’t fully believe the words he had just heard, he had no real reason not to either. Tension began to leave him as he sat down at the foot of the bed, his eyes gazing up towards the ceiling. “I’m glad,” he said as the reality of Poland admitting full out he didn’t want him echoed through his mind.

Lithuania had spent decades vying for his own freedom, fighting tooth and claw to be freed from the evil regime that had taken him. “I’m surprised I made it this far…” He was old, or so he felt. From the powerful ruler and king of Eastern Europe to nothing but a worthless Soviet State, he’d seen it all, and freedom tasted all the sweeter for it. “I gave it my all for freedom…” A smile formed on his lips as he remembered the first time he had declared independence after his and Poland’s empire had fallen, and then to the monumental moment in March 1990 when he had done what no other SSR had tried to do and declared independence a second time. It was such a forward moment and a big, terrifying step, but he had been able to do it, and even outlive the consequences. He glanced at Poland, the first of the nations that had declared independence from Soviet rule, and couldn’t help but feel admiration.

If it hadn’t been for Poland, he might not have gotten the attention or support he needed to declare and maintain his independence, and for that, he felt thankful. Poland had always been a figure of strength, never taking shit from anyone. In a way, Lithuania was glad he got to experience Poland first hand. “I hope I can give it my all again if I have to.”

“There is no doubt in my mind.” Poland moved towards his suitcase and let out an optimistic, “Look at you! Free!” as he began to dig through the pile of clothes.

Free, yes. Free. Freedom was beautiful. Waking up in the morning and not being told what to do, what you can’t do, who you can’t see. Getting to speak your own language, read and listen to anything you want without fear of persecution.

“...and despite your weird Russian accent, you’re still you.”

He was still himself. Maybe a little bit lost and confused, but he was still Lithuania. He still had his language and culture. Maybe there was a bit of a Russian influence still in him but he was still him. Hearing Poland affirm that out loud filled him with warmth, even if earlier in the night he would have spit on him for saying that.

Lithuania soaked in the warmth of these thoughts, optimism taking hold of him, if only for a moment. “Yeah,” he said, worries of his future seeping back into his head. He could never stay happy for long. “Let’s just see how long independence lasts for me this time.”

He would have thought harder about the darkness that had flooded his head after the burst of joy, but his attention was quickly drawn to Poland drinking from a flask. “Should you be drinking that much?”

Poland shot Lithuania a dirty look for speaking up and scoffed, “What do I have to worry about, my liver? Brain?” He closed back up the flask and tossed it aside before turning to Lithuania, “Oh, did you want some?”

Lithuania frowned. He thought they were done with alcohol for the night, and since he’d been trying to quit, excessive drinking was something he didn’t want to do. He wanted to quit drinking hard alcohol so badly because it fucked with his mind, coaxed him to be more obedient, and it had been used as bait against him to get work done. “No…” he lied as he took off his jacket and set it carefully to his side. “I thought you’d be ready to stop for the night.” A deep craving began to gnaw at him from the inside.

Poland shook his head and stood still in apparent thought for a good minute. “I’m probably going to sleep soon,” he slurred. “That’s what I’m going to do.”

Lithuania hummed his agreement at that sentiment. He was tired, and he had a long and painful series of train and bus rides ahead of himself scheduled for the next day. He had to go home, he had to work, he had to fix things. “It wouldn’t be a bad idea I guess…” He stopped talking when he realized Poland had the flask to his mouth again. “Po?”

As much as he didn’t want to care about Poland and his drinking behaviours, he knew what Poland was doing to himself, and he didn’t want to see it. A burst of energy overcame him, and he shot up. He’d seen Latvia go down the path of pure alcohol abuse several times. He had witnessed Estonia fight it once, but he had been able to get the poor guy to clear his head. He had even seen a few other nations in The Union succumb to the sick and foul control of the spirits. Lithuania wanted so deeply for all of that to stop that his drunken body stumbled into action before his brain could tell it not to.

“What the Hell?! Put that down, now!” Lithuania shouted, and with the speed and talent of a skilled martial artist, he plucked the bottle from Poland’s hands. “I don’t care how immortal you are or how much you hate me, you’ve had enough!” His heart pounded in his chest as his brain caught up with what he had just done.

“What the fucking Hell!?” Polish words flew from Poland’s drunken mouth, and the small, fierce nation began to scream, “You son of a bitch, you can call me a liar and a thief but you take my fucking drink?!”

Despite his harsh words, Poland wasn’t fighting back, but he was still failing for his flask. Lithuania, however, was taller, physically bulkier, and knew how to keep things out of someone’s reach. As if he were a professional basketball player, he elegantly kept the flask from Poland before cracking it open and taking a whiff of it. “What even is this?” The strong alcohol inside stung his nostrils, revealing exactly what it was. “Is this pure Ethanol?”

“Does it fucking matter? It’s all that ever works on me!” Poland screamed, but the bottle still evaded his frantic grasp. Vying for a different approach, his face warped into a violent display of hatred and agitation. “Whore!” he screamed at the top of his lungs. “I fucking let you stay in my fucking hotel room and this is how you treat me, you son of a bitch?!”

Without thinking, Lithuania thrust his hand around Poland’s mouth, and with the weight of all his body strength, lunged the smaller man into the bed. He did it carefully, making sure that Poland’s head hit the pillow and his body went uninjured. “Keep it down,” he whispered as he leaned carefully towards Poland’s ear. “There are people in the rooms next to us.”

Poland struggled, but Lithuania held firm, steadily managing his body weight against the dangerous and drunk man under him. “I’m going to give it back to you, but you need to take a good look at yourself.” Regret at what he was doing pulled harder and harder at his throat as the reality of the situation caught up with him.

Lithuania hadn’t meant to overstep his boundaries in Poland’s life. Although they were neighbours, they were no longer friends. The only mutual relationships they still carried were their shared history together and their strange, inhuman existence.

Poland struggled more against Lithuania’s weight, trying harder, and for a moment Lithuania worried that Poland might really be able to struggle free. He was surprised at how strong Poland was despite his stature. He muttered something under Lithuania’s hand, but Lithuania had been able to maintain strength and focus, silencing Poland.

After a minute or two more of squirming, Poland eventually stopped. His eyes hit Lithuania’s again and he grew still. Lithuania could see the details of Poland’s face clearly now, and he stared in awe at the mark on his forehead. Memories came flooding into Lithuania’s mind. The scar was from their first major victory together against The Teutonic Knights. It reminded him that this was the same man that had fought alongside him for all those centuries.

“Now, I’ll give it back to you.” More memories of the good times they had shared together filled Lithuania’s mind. He put the flask down on Poland’s chest and immediately got off him. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that. I just couldn’t see you doing this to yourself.” Budding remorse for his actions told him it was time to leave. He started for the door as his chest swelled with guilt.

“Where are you going?” Poland asked, still drunk, but once again calm.

The confusion in Poland’s voice made Lithuania falter. For what he had just done, he knew he deserved to sleep out in the rain, and he couldn’t stay there. “What do you mean where am I going?” He slid his shoes on and fixed up the laces.

“I want to quit,” Poland exclaimed. “Like really, really badly. I probably would have had more if you didn’t take it from me…” He got off the bed with his flask and started towards the bathroom.

Gods, this was not what he had intended to have happened. Live and let live, who was he to police someone whom too had suffered under a controlling rule? If Poland had wanted to drink, then he should have just let Poland drink. He tried to tell himself again he didn’t care what Poland did, but he cared. He couldn’t lie to himself. “You don’t have to do that,” Lithuania said, his breath heavy, his mind racing at his stupid, reckless, and what he had been taught were barbaric actions. “Let’s just forget the whole thing.” He still needed to leave. He had to.

Poland was calm as he made his way into the bathroom. “I want to quit, it’s just really difficult.”

“I know…” Indecision tore Lithuania apart inside. He wanted to stay, he wanted to keep an eye on Poland, but he didn’t know why. He couldn’t figure out why he cared. Even after what he had just done, after decades of hating Poland, of preaching about all Poland’s sins, he couldn’t help but find peace by being near him. He was starting to think the people of the last century had been lying to him. That maybe Poland hadn’t been that bad of a partner.

Lithuania found himself taking off his shoes and sitting at the foot of the bed again. He was tired, it was storming, and when he heard the last of the alcohol gurgle down the drain, he believed it was safe to stay. “I’ve struggled with it too.”

Poland came back into the main part of the room and picked up his pillow, giving it a hug as he sat in the chair. There was something cute about the way Poland was still innocent after all the things he’d been through, and it made Lithuania wonder if he, too, could find some peace or innocence within his own self.

“Tonight was fun though.” Poland gave the pillow a warm and cheery squeeze. “We drank a lot… caught up… Would’ve been cool to kick France’s ass though.” He smiled as if nothing had happened and the night was going perfectly fine. It was as if he had forgotten everything that had just happened.

“Yeah…” Lithuania half listened, various thoughts and emotions raging a war inside his head as he laid back and made himself comfortable. “We’ll get back at him sometime…” He could feel himself dozing off. Stress sometimes did that to him, although it had also been a long and emotionally-tolling day. “Maybe at a meeting…” He had more to say, but sleep soon tugged the rest of his words from his weary mind.

///

“You’re pretty great…” Poland giggled, brushing Lithuania’s hair, and humming softly to himself. “I can’t believe I finally have somebody like you.”

Poland’s words were warm and soft, like the afternoon sunlight that had been shining down upon them and their land. “I’m happy too,” said Lithuania as he admired the beautiful Ruthenian landscape and took in the cool fall air. Lush fields of rye cascaded across the world around him, and he felt as if he were a God amongst men. “We’re going to be the best!” Lithuania joyously declared, smiling enthusiastically at the idea of what the future would hold.

Poland continued to hum a familiar, yet unrecognizable tune, setting the brush down at Lithuania’s side. Poland was careful and precise with his movements as he worked, as he was always a bit of a perfectionist. “We’re always going to be the best!” Poland added, slipping what felt like a crown of some kind into Lithuania’s hair, delicately caressing his scalp with his fingers.

Lithuania didn't mind times like this. The head massage felt good, especially when given by someone he cared for so dearly. Poland was his partner, his equal, and although he could be a bit selfish and goofy at times, he was still his best friend.

Poland continued to hum, putting his arms around Lithuania. They were pleasant, yet something felt off about them. They seemed heavier than usual, but Lithuania shook it off. After all, Poland had been getting stronger, too.

“You’ll always be by my side, won't you?” Poland kissed the top of Lithuania’s head and ran his arms down Lithuania’s chest, adjusting his clothes. He wasn’t quite sure what it was this time, but it felt nice to be touched by someone he loved.

Poland’s delicate hands felt strangely large against Lithuania’s body, and the tune that Poland hummed became clearer and more reminiscent of something he’d heard so many times before. “Y-Yeah…” Uncertainty formed in Lithuania’s head as his brain connected the humming to the reality that was coming to life around him.

Poland continued to hum and Lithuania began placing words to the tune. It was the State Anthem, a song that had been burned into his brain. Panic started to bare down upon him, the ungodly tune of the Soviet Union piercing through his mind. “Why are you humming this song, Po?” Lithuania couldn’t move. Poland’s arms were tightly pressed against Lithuania’s chest, making him feel like nothing but a doll.

“Isn’t this the most beautiful song in the world, Liet?” Poland hummed more, giving an even tighter squeeze, like a monstrous bear hug.

This time, it hurt, and Lithuania grew more panicked and angry, his heart beating faster. “No, it’s not.” He tried to be polite, but Poland had him fully imprisoned in his arms. “I think we’re done. I need to go for a walk in the woods.” He squirmed some, his clothes tight around his body. “You know, clear my head.”

“That’s not very nice of you, Mr Lithuania.” Poland’s voice was different this time; harder to make out, but familiar. “After all, there’s no way out.”

The landscape of beautiful Ruthenia shifted in a split second, warping into the freezing Siberian tundra. Terror flew through Lithuania’s body, and he immediately whirled against the force of Poland’s hands, only to see Russia standing there, an innocent and fragile smile plastered across his face.

Russia teetered from side to side in blissful innocence, his hands off Lithuania now, but only momentarily before he offered an assuring pat on the head. “You’re so cute when you’re worried.” Russia ruffled Lithuania’s hair. “...and anyhow, you know what happens if you try to run.”

Lithuania’s breath came in short, unsteady bursts, panic setting in full force. He wanted to run, he wanted to get up, but his body wouldn’t let him. Suddenly he froze, the familiar crack of a whip behind him, the sound springing him awake in an icy cold sweat.

The dark, calm, quiet hotel room was his reality now, and Lithuania took a moment to recollect his thoughts and remember where he was. He ran his fingers through his hair, his head pounding just as much as his chest. He took deep breaths to try to calm himself, feeling his body and finding relief when he found he was in his own regular street clothes and nothing else.

Lithuania studied the dark room, grateful to see Poland in the chair across from him. “Dream, right.” He tried to reassure himself before wiping some sweat away from his forehead with the back of his hand. He started for some water, his mind in a haze as he recalled the night prior. Rage began to build inside himself when he realized he had consumed a copious amount of vodka. The one thing he was trying not to drink anymore.

After pouring himself a glass of water, Lithuania made his way back into the main room, his eyes catching the shine of Poland’s open eyes. “Po?” he murmured, testing with uncertainty the reality before him.

“I’m asleep,” Poland responded. “I mean…” Weakly, he trailed off, too tired to pretend.

Lithuania stood firm as he concentrated on Poland in hopes of escaping the demands of his own turbulent thoughts. Nightmares like that, although common for him, would rip at him for hours on end if he didn’t make an attempt to distract himself. “Are you alright?”

Poland wilted in the moonlight that was seeping through the window. He didn’t say anything, but exhaustion was written on his face, evidence that he had only barely overcome his fight against sleep.

“I think it’s alright if I leave now.” Lithuania downed the water in his cup and took a peek out the window. “It’s stopped raining and so I can just go take a walk or something before I have to catch my flight.” He didn’t want to burden Poland any more than he had already, even if he wanted to distract himself from his own nightmare. He could return Poland his bed and handle a couple of hours of aimless walking until it was time to go.

The room fell silent as Poland fidgeted in the armchair. “Oh,” he said, and then he stilled.

“You can take your bed back and--”

Poland receded into the chair a little bit. “Don’t go…” His desperate green eyes glistened at Lithuania. “Please…”

Lithuania scowled, those words were only encouraging him to leave. The last thing he wanted was to be told what to do, especially by someone like Poland. Although concerned for him, Lithuania didn’t like the request. “Why?” he grumbled, crushing the paper cup in his hand.

“Please, I won't ask anything again, just, stay, please.” Poland was pleading now, his arms wrapped tightly in terror around his pillow. “I don’t want to be alone, I don’t want to fall asleep.”

Lithuania wasn’t impressed by Poland’s actions, but sat down at the foot of the bed and gave Poland a good look over. “Why?” he asked again, doing his best to study Poland’s actions. He needed to know if Poland was doing this on purpose or truly afraid.

“What if I wake up and I’m not here?” Poland’s voice cracked with the weight of barely suppressed tears. “What if the last three years had been a dream and I’m still--” A flood of tears, at last, broke through and silenced him.

As silly as a statement that was, Lithuania understood exactly the fear going through Poland’s head. There was something surreal about living in a nightmare for so long only to be suddenly liberated from it.

Lithuania let out a sigh, splitting his pity lopsidedly in Poland’s favour. “Alright…” He shook his head, recounting both the reality and the nightmares he had faced during his times as an occupied country. “I’ll stay…” Despite his reluctance, something inside made him feel like it would benefit both he and Poland if he remained where he was.

Even if their own bitter hatred towards one another had divided them for decades, Lithuania still felt a mutual connection to Poland. This strange kinship bonded the two in a way that other nations would never be able to understand. In a sense, Poland still felt like Lithuania’s other half, and while this sentiment disgusted Lithuania, it was comforting at the same time. Despite having similar feelings towards his two fellow Baltic states, they weren’t the same. They were like brothers to him, but Poland was something else entirely.

“Do you usually have trouble sleeping?” Lithuania asked as remnants of the dream floated through his brain. That moment with Poland in the rye fields felt like a slice of heaven, warm nostalgic thoughts reemerging in his mind. For the moment, hearing Poland’s voice intensified that nostalgia.

Poland shifted in the seat. “Yes.” He wiped tears away from his eyes with his hand. “I usually drink until I pass out or lay next to my horse.” He sniffled. “I just need to have something by my side at night… It’s stupid…”

Lithuania remained quiet. He knew what it was like to suffer from irrational and silly fears that would be unlikely to happen. Oftentimes, when he had nightmares like that, he could never quite fall asleep again, or if he did, his mind would pull him back into the fantasy.

Slowly, an offer crept its way into the back of Lithuania’s mind. “Do you want to lay next to me?” he uttered, regret instantly hitting him, but it was already too late to back out now. “If it helps you, I don’t mind.” As long as Lithuania could keep solid boundaries, it would be okay. Maybe sleeping with Poland would bring him some own comfort to pull through the rest of the night, all the while, helping… no, sparing Poland a night of unrest. “Just this once.”

“What?” Poland sounded utterly confused.

“It’s my fault you threw out your alcohol and I’m sure you want to be well-rested for tomorrow,” Lithuania carried on with the offer. “So… You can lay next to me, if you need to.”

There were a few seconds of silence. “Are you sure?” Poland looked hesitant, but nevertheless eager.

“Yes.” Lithuania shook his head as he pulled down the covers. Poland’s nearly desperate interest in the idea of laying next to him made him feel pretty good. In a sense, it was as if he had just been granted the right to dictate whether or not Poland would get to sleep at all. That slight power over the other made him light up inside. “Just try not to touch me, okay?”

Like a scared child, Poland promptly took the offer and made his way towards the bed, placing his pillow down and scrambling under the covers. “Thank you.”

“Just sleep, okay?” Lithuania got into the bed and pushed himself as far away from Poland as he could. Even if he’d slept with Poland thousands of times, the idea of laying with him now wasn’t the most pleasant thought. “This will be good enough for you, right?”

“Yes…” Poland sighed, relieved. “Really, thank you…”

Lithuania rolled his eyes at Poland’s desperation but still felt comfortable next to him. Although he wanted to tell himself that he was indifferent to Poland being there, the other’s presence undeniably comforted him, too.

Poland squirmed about, prompting Lithuania to push himself further away from Poland, almost until he was teetering on the edge of the bed. “Can you stop?” Lithuania grumbled, “I have no problem with getting out of the bed and leaving you to deal with your problems yourself.”

The room, and Poland, went still and silent, and finally, Lithuania was able to take in what he had just done. It felt good when he thought about it. He enjoyed caring for other people, even if it wasn’t someone he wanted to care about. Being able to turn his negative thoughts into positive energy to help someone else was enough to get him through the day.

With his back turned to Poland, Lithuania closed his eyes, letting sleep take him swiftly by surprise.

\--

Morning came quickly, not a nightmare to be had. With a few groans and grunts, Lithuania found himself waking up, confusion instantly hitting him as he noticed his arm was thrust over Poland’s sleeping chest. He felt dirty and uneasy as he tried to figure out what he was doing this close to Poland, and in response hastily pulled himself off Poland and sat up in bed. His head spun as he looked towards the lighter framed man next to him and wondered what exactly Poland had done to make him get so close.  
Lithuania scanned Poland’s sleeping body for a moment as he tried to piece together what had happened after he agreed to let Poland lay with him, but he found himself distracted by how peaceful Poland appeared.

In fear of waking him, Lithuania slid himself back down into the bed and began to reflect on the night before and the kind of person he had thought Poland to be versus who Poland seemed to be now. He gave off different energy, no longer that of a spoiled prince, but one of a tired man who had touched the darkest corners of reality and survived.

Lithuania closed his eyes again and thought back towards the days when Poland was spoiled, when they fought alongside one another, celebrated together. His mind began to push the negative feelings out of his head. That was, until he snapped back to reality, the crushing realization that this was probably all a part of Poland’s plan: get Lithuania to remember the good old days so Poland can suck him back in and make him his crony.

With that sentiment in mind, Lithuania sat back up and cursed at himself for letting it get this far. He’d been so aloof and stupid, and now he could see Poland’s attempts at manipulating him once again. Poland had had enough time to sleep, and now it was time for Lithuania to go. If he ended up waking him up, so be it.

Lithuania pulled himself out of the bed, giving himself a nice stretch before getting ready to stick on his shoes and head out.

“Hey…” Poland had woken up and was turned to face Lithuania.

Pressed with the need to reply back, Lithuania let out a quiet, “Hey.” He suppressed his anger, reluctant to cause a scene. Poland couldn’t know that he was onto him. Now, however, was a safer time to get out, and since it was light out and Poland had slept, he really had no reason to stick around. “I’m going to head out now…”

Poland nodded. It seemed benign enough. “Thank you…” He rubbed his eyes with his hands, “I feel well-rested, so, like, thanks…” He gave a sheepish smile. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I know.” Lithuania was curt, irritated he had let it all go so far. Hopefully, Poland didn’t also notice Lithuania’s arm had found itself on top of him during the night. “I’m going to make my way to the airport.” He didn’t add that he had a few hours before he was supposed to leave and was planning to spend it at a sports bar downing a few beers. “Do you think we can, um…” Lithuania slid on his shoes, hesitant. Poland was a Gossip Queen, and he could easily twist the night into more than it had been. “...not mention any of this to anyone?”

“If you don’t, I won’t.” Poland slid himself over in the bed to where Lithuania had been laying, “Promise!”

Lithuania shook his head and put a hand on the doorknob. “No, no, I have no intention.” He opened the door, and the prospect of escape filled him with relief. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to see or think about Poland again, except with regards to work. “Have a good time in Paris.” With that, he saw himself out and closed the door.

Suppressed rage accompanied Lithuania as he stomped his way down the stairs and out of the hotel in the direction of his bus stop. His mind swam with anger and confusion about everything that had just transpired. Poland, of all people, again worming his way into his life. Poland, again, being a needy bastard and asking for help.

The anger consumed him, and Lithuania found himself in an alley relieving himself of his emotions. “Stupid!” He kicked a trash bin so hard against the side of a building he dented it, “Bastard!”

He’d have continued if an old woman passing by wasn’t staring at him with a furious and terrified look. “Ah, sorry…” Lithuania muttered, making his way out of the alley and off to find the nearest bar where he could drink away his memories of the previous night.

**Author's Note:**

> Part of a series of different works of them sitting and dealing with one another as they slowly fall back in love.


End file.
